The One
by Vampluva55
Summary: Edward breaks up with Bella in their senior year of high school, but Bella still has to deal with seeing him at school and at parties. Will she move on? Why did Edward break up with her? ALL HUMAN! This is my first fan fic ever. please R&R SM ownes it all
1. Chapter 1

**(A/N) Guys this is my first fan fiction ever so try to be nice (please!!!) unless it really sucks then tell me so I don't have to waist anymore time on it. So in this one everyone is human but Edward dumps Bella during their senior year and she still has to live with seeing him every day. I hope you like it! **

**Disclaimer: I am not Stephenie Meyer, I do not own Twilight…bummer**

"Why?" I asked him. At that moment I didn't care that we were right outside Forks High School in the senior parking lot with all of our classmates, and even a few curious teachers, watching us. I didn't care that it had started to rain and that my jacket was still in his car where I had left it this morning when he came to pick me up. I didn't notice the raindrops splattering onto my face, nixing with the salty water from my tears. I couldn't taste them falling into my partially open mouth. I only cared about the answer to the vital question that still lingered in the air that separated us.

I stared at his mouth waiting for the words to tumble out. To apologize, to say he never meant it, that we could be together always, that it was just some stupid dare. Anything. I wouldn't be able to live if he said what I feared the most, that he was really leaving me. But then, as if fate wished to punish me for my hopeful thought, he did something much worse. He turned around, ignoring my question, and open the door to his stupid black Volvo and sat down in the driver's seat. Then he closed the door and turned on the engine. Without any response to my whispered question, he drove out of the parking lot and on the rain soaked road. He didn't look back.

I stumbled forward. He had driven me to school today, how was I supposed to get home. But then I saw my rusted silver Toyota in the parking space next to where he had just been parked. I was confused. How had that gotten there? I got in the car and saw that a note and had been taped to the steering wheel.

_**Sorry Bella**_

_**Edward told me that you two were splitting up**_

_**I'll miss spending time with you**_

_**-Emmett**_

So Edw- I flinched at his name, had told his older brother Emmett that he was dumping me before he had even told me. He must have asked Emmett to drop the car off at school. I cursed myself for giving Edw- _him _my extra car key last week. And there the key was, waiting for me in the ignition. I suddenly missed Emmett. He was tough on the outside, with his bulging muscles and many tattoos, but in reality he was a big softy. I felt a pull in my stomach. I had not only lost Edward but I had lost his family as well.

People were still staring at me, so I decided to drive home. I turned on my windshield wipers so I could see the road. I was surprised when I found that my vision was still impaired. I realized that they were my tears, still flowing from my eyes. I impatiently wiped my eyes and started the car.

When I was halfway home I realized that I was freezing. I didn't have a jacket on and the time I spent out in the rain had soaked my clothes. I turned up the heat and as I was doing so I saw my jacket there, lying perfectly folded on the seat next to me.

The tears flowed faster then ever and I started shaking. I needed to gat home fast before I really started breaking down and crashed the car into a tree. Although, I noted to my self, that might not be so bad.

**(A/N) PLEASE REVIEW SO I KNOW IF I SHOULD WRITE MORE. THE MORE REVIEWS THE FASTER I'LL WRITE MORE(IF IT'S ANY GOOD REMEMBER THIS IS MY FIRST FAN FIC!!!) Review review review!!! I know this one is short but if you like it I will write long ones!!!**


	2. Chapter 2: Picking Sides

**OK I got some good review's so I decided to go for another chapter. Thanks to A for my first review! I hope you enjoy!**

**Disclaimer: I am not the great and amazing and awesome and you get the point Stephenie Meyer *bow down to her***

I had been lying on my bed for two days. Not eating, not sleeping, I was just trying not to think. I had tried to think about Edwa- him but I just couldn't. Whenever I thought his name a searing pain shot through my heart as though someone was brutally jabbing it with a burning hot poker. I found it easier to just float around in my head and used the pain as an incentive not to think about him. Although I need not realize at the time, I had started building up a wall in my head. Sealing up every last memory of him that I had. When I had completed this grueling mental task I was finally able to sleep.

The next morning I woke with a start. My head was still a little fuzzy from adjusting to the light-headed feeling I always got when I had forgotten something. I dismissed this fact and locked it behind my wall. I had not done any homework all weekend and it was not Sunday. I grimaced, thinking of how much work I had to do but then stopped in my tracks as I pulled out my beet-up green history binder.

FLASHBACK

"_Come on Bella hurry up! We don't have all day. Don't you want to go to the party with me?"_

"_Of coarse I do but you've seen my History binder. It died, Edward!" I laughed with him._

"_O.K. fine you win just hurry though, this is our first party together as a couple." He sneaked his hand around my waist. _

_I grabbed the first binder I could find and started toward the checkout counter._

"_Bella?" Edward stifled a laugh._

"_What! You wanted me to hurry!" He just kept looking at the hot pink binder in my hand. Wait HOT PINK??? I blushed._

"_I'm glad you caught me" I said reaching for a emerald green binder. "See this one is like you're eyes, except much less beauti-" I stopped mid sentence as Edward swept me off my week and kissed me hard on the lips. I smiled and wrapped my arms around his neck._

"_Um excuse me miss?" I let go of Edward to see an awkward looking employee with an elderly lady fanning herself vigorously behind him. We were both cracking up as I paid for the binder and got in Edwards black Volvo. We were still laughing when we got to the party a few minutes later. _

END OF FLASHBACK

No! Why was my perfect wall not protecting me. I concentrated on shoving the memory across the barrio of my mind until it finally succumbed and I though about it no more. This was just a regular old binder. Nothing special about it. In fact a salesman recommended it to me. I sighed and started on my homework.

When I was done with all my work at last, I thought back to how many things reminded me of him. I had to stop every minute or so to block a thought. I knew deep down that I could never forget what really happened those times when I slipped and had a flashback, but pretending was nice. It was like floating above the pain, I knew it would hurt when I landed but that didn't stop me from enjoying the bliss of ignorance.

Mom and dad had checked on me a few times. They were shocked and scared when I came into the house. My tears red and puffy and my clothes soaked. I knew they were concerned about me but in my state of utter nothingness I couldn't bring myself to say anything to them. I knew they knew what had happened however. I overheard a phone call between my father and the principle while the two of them were still scrambling around, trying to figure out what had happened to me.

FLASHBACK

"_Hello? Yes Mr. Harison I wanted to speak with you. (__**talking on the other line**__)Bella has been acting strange. (__**talking on the other line**__)Yes, ever since she got home. Do you know what happened? (__**talking on the other line**__) Oh I see…(__**talking on the other line**__) Thank you Mr. Harison(__**talking on the other line**__) Ok good bye."_

"_What happened? Did he say?" My mom was worriedly standing next to my dad._

"_He said that a few teachers saw Edward" I flinched at his name "breaking up with Bella on Friday after school." My father's voice grew angry as he neared the end of his sentence._

"_Oh my" my mother sounded like she didn't know what to say. My mother's voice always betrayed her emotions. Unfortunately I inherited that annoying ability. My teachers always knew when I did not know the answer to questions._

"_I'm going up to talk to her. Then I'm going straight over to Cullen's house with a baseball bat and a-" my father still sounded angry._

"_Darling, give her some time. She just needs some time to get over him."_

"_Fine."_

"_Where are you going?" I heard Charlie walking towards the door._

"_To Cullen's house" he grumbled._

"_No honey. You're the Chief of Police for goodness sakes."_

END OF FLASHBACK

The next day I woke up blissfully unaware. Then it crashed down on me. I was going to school. Edward was at school. We have all but one of our classes together. We were partners in Biology. I was going to die.

I started up my Toyota and it stuttered violently. "Damn it" I growled viciously. Wait if I can't go to school I can't see Edward. But it's either that or wallow in self misery all day. As I drove to school I worked on building up my wall to block the blow that was surly going to shatter it as soon as I saw his face.

I pulled up to the senior parking lot. I was careful to stay far away from the black Volvo and the place where it happened on frid- "NO!" I dug my fingernails into my leg as I though about that scene. I would not think about it. I would not think about him. I figured that if I associated thoughts of him with pain, they would go away. That was how Emos did it…" **(A/N nothing against Emos..) **

"Bella!" I looked up to see Alice, my best friend standing next to my car. I realized that she was Edward's friend as well. Could I be near her without crying?

"Sorry Alice I'm coming." As we walked to class Alice filled me in.

"So after Friday" I flinched and blocked the memory from passing into my brain **(A/N I'm just going to call it f&b flinch and block from now on)** "you o.k."

"What?" I was very far from O.K."

"I was telling you that all of our friends have chosen sides" I groaned I knew this was coming.

"Who's on whose side?"

"That's what I was telling you. Well Lauren, Tanya, and Jessica chose Edward." Of coarse the school sluts would choose Edward. "And Mike stuck with you" oh great now he would try to hit on me all the time, and I didn't have anyone to stop him… "Rosalie chose Edward." That one hurt. I thought Rosalie and I were close. "Um.. who else? Oh, Taylor Eric and Seth are for Edward and Jacob and Jasper, I didn't make him he chose you himself, chose you of coarse." Well that was good I guess. Alice's boyfriend chose me.

By this time we has made it to my first class. I gulped. Alice wasn't in this class.

"Good luck" she patted my back as she headed down the hall towards a very happy Jasper who was waiting for her with open arms.

"Thanks" I whispered as I shook off the thought that I would never have open arms waiting for me again.

I slowly opened the door and gasped.

**PLEASE REVIEW!!!!!**


	3. Chapter 3

There he was sitting in his normal seat. The one right next to mine. I looked around desperately to try and find another place to sit. Anywhere but next to him. Of coarse the universe chose to hate me and I had to sit next to Edwa- _him_. As I slowly made my way to my seat, everyone was staring at me. Even Ms. Hanson my History teacher. They all knew what had happened on Friday and were eagerly waiting to see what would happen. I knew that they left my seat open for this reason. Just for their own entertainment. Disgusting.

He wasn't looking at me. His eyes were plastered to the desk. I nervously tripped into my seat. I heard a giggle from somewhere across the room. As soon as I had sat down next to him, I nudged my chair as far away from him as my desk would allow. He on the other hand moved his whole desk over about six inched and moved his chair, just like mine, away from me. I heard Eric laugh and turned around in time to see Mike hit the back of his head.

"Now settle down class," Ms. Hanson began her boring lecture, clearly as disappointed at how anticlimactic my reunion with Edwa- him had been as the rest of the class.

I tried to catch his eye throughout the entire class, but he just kept staring blankly at Ms. Hanson. I knew he wasn't paying any attention to her. I realized with a pang that this was our least favorite class. We spent the 45 minutes passing notes and having whispered conversations. I tried desperately to look into his emerald green eyes but he kept them hidden from me.

With one minute left in class, he began fidgeting. I knew he wanted to get out of the classroom as much as I did. We had the next class together and we needed to get over to the classroom before anyone tried to make us sit together again. I cringed at the thought of my last period, Biology, where we had assigned seats. I held back a groan with difficulty when I realized that we were about to start a big end-of-the-year/torture Biology project with our lab partners today. Could my luck get any better? We had been exited about this project. We had planned study times at his house, which would most likely end up with me spending the night there. No! I couldn't let myself think about that.

"Miss Swan?" I looked up to see the class laughing behind their hands and I realized that I was, very loudly, ripping up filler paper in my binder. I immediately turned red with embarrassment.

"Oh, I'm sorry."

"Could you tell the class why it is so very important that you shred your supply of paper, Miss Swan," I saw a smirk on her pudgy little face. She was enjoying this! That bitch!

"Miss Swan?'

"I'm sorry I wasn't thinking ma'am."

"Of coarse not, now will you tell us _what _you were thinking so hard about?' She really was a bitch. I saw her there in the parking lot on that day. She knew why I was ripping my paper, wishing it was my skin.

"Are you serious?" It came out badly but I didn't care.

"Yes I am serious, please go on." I looked over at _him_ and saw that he was still not looking p from his desk. I couldn't let him see how much I really did miss him.

"Ummm…my car broke down this morning and I need to find a way to get home" It was an O.K. lie, for me at least. My voice had no emotion whatsoever so it was difficult to tell that it was a lie. I glanced at Edwa- him and saw a smirk on his beautiful face. He knew me so well. He could tell that I was lying.

"Is that so?" She sounded surprised.

"Yes," I knew I sounded irritated but Ms. Hanson had some serious bitch issues. Could a teacher really treat students like that?

Just then the bell rang and Edwa- grrrr I can't even say his name! He and I jumped up to make a run for it and sit as far away form each other as possible.

"Oh Miss Swan? May I see you for a moment?" I groaned and _he _growled. I knew he hated me for letting this happen to him. If I kept this up we would be sitting next to each other all day!

"Yeah sure, whatever" I mumbled as I threw my bag over my shoulder and headed up the teacher's desk.

As I sat next to _him_ again in my next subject, I didn't even bother to check what subject it was, I thought of ways to get back at Ms. Hanson. I took out one of my few remaining pieces of undestroyed paper and started writing.

_Ms. Hanson_

_Ms. Hanshit_

_Ms. Hand-shit_

I got it! That would be her new name! Ms. Hand-shit, it had a nice ring to it! I grinned at my paper. Wait, I grinned? It felt odd. My lips rebelled against the sudden jerk upward. I fought with them, trying to make them stay happy. Of coarse I lost the fight. As soon as the bell rang I sprang up ready to go to lunch. But then I realized something. I couldn't sit at _the _table with all of Edwa- _his_ friends! I felt aweful for making my friends isolate themselves from his group of popular people. I knew they didn't have to sit with me, and that over time they would slowly drift back to his table. Like snow falling to the ground. No matter how much the slow flakes might like the air, they always drift down with the others to form one mass of white. I grimaced at my stupid analogy **(A/N I did too!) **and went on to the cafeteria, already dreading the rest of my day.


	4. AN I'm so sorry guys!

**I am so sorry guys! I said I would never do this but I forgot to put an A/N in chapter three and I need to tell you that there was a misunderstanding and Jacob is not on Edward's side. In case of any confusion here are the friend lists:**

**Edward**

**Lauren**

**Jessica**

**Tanya**

**Rosalie **

**Taylor**

**Eric**

**Seth**

**Bella**

**Alice**

**Jacob**

**Jasper**

**Angela (I didn't add her but she is Bella's friend**

**So sorry the last chapter took so long to put up. PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE REVIEW! I've only gotton 3 reviews and I really want at least five, or else I might give up this story but I don't really want to. Luv you guys! Review.**

**Oh and P.S.**

**I DO NOT OWN TWILIGHT. Yeah yeah sucks to be me…and you**


	5. Chapter 5: The Lunch

**(A/N) Thank you guys so much!!! You are the best readers ever!!! I only expected like 5 reviews but I got 15!!!!! Even the fact that I am not Stephenie Meyer can't spoil my joy!!1 Well…maybe a little bit…**

**Disclaimer: You read it up there so leave me alone.**

**Oh and also I'd luv to hear what you guys think I should change or add to the story (**MarilouCullen I am thinking over how and when I can add your idea) **but anyway I'm not magic, like Stephenie Meyer and I don't want to run out of Ideas. I still have a few plot twists hidden up my sleeves, **** but I might need your help getting there. Luv you guys so much!!! Oh and someone asked where Emmett is, he's living at Edward's house. He finished collage and is dating Rosalie, a senior at Forks High. Does that clear it up…sort of?**

Alice and Jasper caught up to me just as I had finished loading up my tray and paid the rather chubby server for my meal.

"Come on we found a table. Over here!" As usual, Alice was jumping up and down with excitement. Jasper put a calming hand on her shoulder. I winced. Why couldn't I have someone to calm me down, or even someone in general?

When we got to the table I was surprised to see a few more faces then I had expected. I knew them all from the Cullen table but I wasn't expecting them to migrate over here. Angela had come over, she was a nice plain girl whom I was very good friends with. I was surprised that Alice didn't mention her in the parking lot earlier this morning, but all the same I was glad she was here. Mike, the ever loving golden retriever was looking me over with a new eye. I was single now, so it shouldn't have surprised me. I inwardly groaned at the thought of the pathetic "will you go out with me?" speech he had almost certainly already planned. I was shocked to see Eric and Seth sitting on either side of him however. I stared at them, wondering if they had the wrong table.

"Hey Bella," Seth looked at me apologetically. "I'm sorry about you and Edward." I flinched and he continued in a rush. "I was going to sit with _them_ but I realized how much of a better person you are then him." Eric was nodding his head to everything Seth was saying. His head looked endanger of falling off his neck.

"Yeah, I'm sorry for laughing at you in History today," he said meekly.

"That's O.K. thanks for sitting with me." They looked relieved to have been forgiven so easily.

I turned to Jacob. I knew he would be here. He had been loyal to me since day one. He was my best friend. He wasn't jealous of Edward like Mike was. Jacob was just nice.

"How are you Bells," he looked deep into my eyes.

"I'm fine," I lied casually. He raised his eyebrows but thankfully he didn't comment. Damn it! He knew me too well.

**EPOV**

I saw her from across the cafeteria. I was sitting our table, well I guess it was my table now. I was surrounded by my laughing and joking friends. They were all thrilled when they heard I had broken up with Bella, especially the girls. Eric and Seth had sat here for the first five minuets of lunch but then stood and left to join Bella's friends at a table far away from where I was sitting. They looked disgusted and I couldn't really blame them. Bella entered with Alice and Jasper a few minuets later. She was purposely not looking at me. Fine by me. It was so annoying how she kept trying to make eye contact with me in cases today. And she was stupid enough to let Ms. Hanson get her worked up and hold her back so we had to sit next to each other again. I was trying my hardest to-

"Hey baby," Tanya slid into my lap.

"Did you miss me?" I grinned at her. She giggled. Was it really my fault that I was so damn gorgeous?

"I heard you needed help getting over your break up" she purred in my ear.

"I could use some help," I murmured. We started kissing. Not too intense, or else the teachers would put an end to it.

When we stopped to catch our breath I looked over at Bella's table. She was staring at me with unshed tears in her eyes.

**BPOV**

So I was just that replaceable was I? I thought Edward had changed. We had been going out for two whole years when- wait? Did I just say Ed-Edward? I did!!! I guess being pissed let me say his name. I t wasn't like my wall was broken. It was more like I could see through it without feeling the pain of the memories. When I was pissed I could view them, but never quite feel them.

And I was so pissed now. I knew he saw that I had seen him, and surprisingly that didn't make me shrivel up in embarrassment, it just made me hate him more. He hadn't changed at all I growled to myself. He was just using me… for two years.

Edward used to be the biggest player in the school. He would have a new girl on his arm every week. When I first started here I was disgusted with him. Seeing that he could not get me, he only tried harder for me to like him. He promised to be different just for me and I believed him. I guess I was just a proven test result to him now. Edward Cullen could have anyone he wanted.

"Bella?" I looked around to see everyone staring at me or looking from Edward to me to Edward once more.

"Bella?" Jacob repeated, looking at me worriedly.

"I-I'm fine, I dunno, I have to get to class."

"I'll walk you there," Alice said decisively. This was my only class without him. I only had this class and the next one until Biology. I really hoped my anger would last me until I saw him again. I hated the power he held over me. I wanted to break away but I was sure that I wouldn't be able to, ever.

FLASHBACK

_"You know I love you, don't you?" He was holding my hand. We were in his Volvo parked outside the party, now in full swing, that was going to be his biggest test. Our first party together as a couple. _

_"I do love you," he said worriedly as I still didn't respond._

_"We'll see,"I said doubtfully. He looked irritated._

_"Look I promise I won't even touch any of the other girls," he said this like it was an impossible task. In his world, there was no party without and least a dozen make out sessions all with different girls._

_"You'll o it for me?" I asked very doubtful that this was going to be a success._

_"I 'll do it because I love you," he said stroking my face._

_He kissed me then, long and passionately. When we finally sat up to catch our breaths, he stared at me for a long time._

_"That was the best kiss I have ever had," he sounded surprised._

_"Let's get this over with" I mumbled and stepped outside the car. It was so late that the black Volvo melted into the black sky behind it._

_"Let's go," Edward grabbed my hand and we walked inside the well lit house._

_There was just one girl he toughed that whole entire night._

END OF FLASHBACK

I can make it through one more class I thought. My anger was draining out from my body quickly. I was sure I could get angry at him again though…If I could just look into his eyes…

**(A/N) Sorry this one was really bad. I've been trying to write longer chapters but it's harder then I thought. This is my first fan fic so I'm really happy you guys like it so much. Please review and don't be afraid to tell me if you hate where I'm going with this. I have some surprises for you guys but if you really the it please tell me.**

**REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW!!!**


	6. Chapter 6:The Glare

**I know I know I didn't update yesterday. I'm a horrible person and I have more bad news. I'm going on Vacation for two weeks the week after next and I'm busy this week so I won't be able to update for a few weeks. But I will try to write a lot over vacation and then type it up when I get home. I'm really sorry. I might be able to update this Thursday but that might be it for awhile. I'm really sorry guys :( **

I walked into Biology. I tried to tell myself I wasn't afraid before I walked into the room, but I couldn't even kid myself when I saw my hand shaking on the doorknob. The Biology room was made up of two person tabled lined up facing the front of the room. There was an alleyway in-between the rows of desks. I felt like I was walking to my own execution. Each step brought me closer to the horrible, painful death that awaited me on the third row right side of the room.

He was already here of coarse. I sank slowly into my chair, just wishing that I could sink into the floor and never return again. Then I remembered my anger tactic. I thought of all the reasons why I hated Edw-Edwa-Edward. There I said his name. Edward Edward Edward I shouted in my head, fuming at him for all he had put me through.

"Today we begin our final Biology projects class," Mr. Banner informed us, as if we didn't know. He looked too cheerful. Too bouncy. I imagined shooting him. I laughed softly under my breath, though I soon stopped, remembering what lay ahead for me.

"I would like you to now discuss how you are going to split up the work for this project." Was he freakin' serious? What was it with teachers and murdering innocent students. Namely me.

"So," he said looking at the ceiling.

"So What?" I asked looking at the floor.

Our conversations that day followed like the first one. We wouldn't look at each other, and conversed mostly in only a few words per sentence. It was awful. I was relieved when class finally ended. All I wanted was to go home, puke, and sleep. **(A/N I know it sounds gross but It's what I wan't to do after a hard day)** As soon as the bell rang. I grabbed my stuff and headed for the door. I realized that he had done the exact same thing as I had. When we got to the doorway he jumped back, as if afraid that I would contaminate him. I looked at him and for a moment our eyes met.

What I saw scared me. The look he gave me was so deadly, so dangerous, I can't even describe it. It was as if pure hatred rolled off his eyes in waved. Each blow more powerful then the last. I felt like I was melting. My bones seemed to me falling apart, adrenalin rushed though my body making me tense, ready to fight. I couldn't stand it any longer. I looked away. How could looking at someone for only a few seconds make me fall apart. I had felt like I had been dieing. I ran to my car with tears in my eyes. I just barely made it inside the comforting confines of the Toyota when I broke. I fell apart. I worked to shove the memory of his eyes behind my wall. I worked and worked and finally I gave in. I couldn't forget the memory of the pure rage that burned behind his emerald green eyes. I decided to use it to my advantage. Whenever I though of him I would think of the memory of the glare and use it to force the unpleasant thoughts back behind the barrier.

When I got home I did puke but I couldn't sleep. I had too much work to do. I needed to do a good job on the Biology project. I wanted to make him look crappy in comparison to me.

It was as I was working on the stupid project when I formed the plan. I knew I couldn't make him jealous, like when I saw him with Tanya *wince* he just didn't love me anymore, but that didn't mean I couldn't be happy without him. I would find a hot guy, I would become bad girl Bella. I would make him sorry he ever left me. I would make all his friends realize how much cooler I was then him. I would get revenge. But first I needed a boyfriend. Mike would never work he wasn't cool enough. Jacob wouldn't like me doing anything dangerous, and that was a must do on my bad girl checklist. I needed someone knew…

My prayers were answered after a week of avoiding eye contact with Edw-_him_. I was still shaken up by the death glare he gave me. Although I often found myself staring at his back in the back of class, or in Biology, at the side of his face. However he seemed to know when I was staring because he would turn around in the middle of a class to glare at me. I would freeze in my spot. Like a deer caught in headlights, until I could think again and turn away, my heart beating faster. Sometimes when I wasn't even looking at him, just staring at the wall behind him, not realizing he was there, in the middle of class he would turn and glare. It came to be that all I could do in class was stare directly at the teacher or at the opposite side of the classroom then where he happened to be sitting. I hated the control he had over my life. The limitations he put on my happiness. I hadn't forgotten my bad girl plan, but I needed a boy first. And then one day he came.

**(A/N I know this is a short one but I am going to write another one tonight and I wanted it to be a different chapter. Please review!!! I really appreciate it when you do.) **


	7. Chapter 7: The New Guy

**(A/N ok so I'm thinking about writing another story. I might not start it for awhile but would you guys want intense or humor or something else? Let me know in your reviews.)**

**Disclaimer:**

**Me: We meet again Stephanie Meyer, for the last time**

**SM: For the last time I WROTE THE TWILIGHT SERIES!**

**Me: No you didn't it was me! Now draw your weapon! (pulls out green light saber) **

**SM: (pulls out red light saber)**

**(Epic fight scene)**

**Me: Nooooooooooooo! **

**SM: Just say it!**

**Me: Fine I have never, will never, and do not own the Twilight series or any of the wonderful characters in it. **

James was the new guy at school. He had just moved to Forks after some problems at his home in Arizona. He transferred into our senior class and was instantly popular. He was really rich and was very hot. He wasn't as gorgeous as Edwa- _him_ but he would do. _He_ didn't seem very happy at the threat James posed on _his_ social position. James wasn't like Edw- him. He didn't appear to be as much of a player as Edwa- him. I knew he was single, the entire female population of Forks High went crazy the day we found out, but he didn't make out with every girl in sight. Like some people I knew. James just seemed perfect.

I was trying to figure out how to put my plan into action at lunch one day when I felt a tap on my shoulder. I sighed and didn't turn around. It was an amusing game Edwa- I wnced, his friends thought up one day. Run up behind me, tap my shoulder and then run off. It was so childish, we were going to collage next year…

I looked up to exchange an eye roll with Alice, only to find her staring open mouthed at something behind me.

"What-?" I started to question her when a silky smooth voice started speaking to me.

"Hello Bella, my name is James." There he was standing right there behind me. This was better then I had expected.

"Um…Hi?" I sounded questioning. He laughed and I shivered.

"May I speak to you in private?" It took me a moment to respond. I was looking into his beautiful blue eyes.

"Ya sure." I needed to keep cool.

As James led me out of the cafeteria I snagged a look at _his _table. They were all staring at us. Jessica and Tanya were looking outraged. And he looked…I don't know…annoyed? No that couldn't be right. Oh well, I had a hot guy with me. Who cares what they think?

When we reached the deserted lookers James turned to me, his blue eyes burning into mine, making me blush.

"Bella, I really like you...and I was wondering if you wanted to …you know…go out with me this weekend." I was thrilled. I was going to have to ask him, but now I was saved the potential embarrassment of getting rejected.

"But why would you like me?" I was partially feigning curiosity but part of me really wanted to know the answer.

"You aren't like other girls. You didn't come up and ask me out every time you saw me. You just let me come. And the fact that you are extraordinarily beautiful didn't hurt." He laughed and my heart soared. He really did like me, but then shouldn't he know what happened. That I was damaged goods. I knew I was using him to get back at Edwa- him but at the same time I didn't want to hurt him. I was actually starting to like him. Wait? I liked him? How did I let myself like someone? What if he hurt me? But then I remembered Edw- him and realized that this was just him controlling me again. He was taking away my happiness. I was going to go out with James I would have fun and be loved. I would not let _him_ control me., But first I needed to tell James…

"James?"

"Yes Bella?" He was playing with a strand of my hair and suddenly I remembered.

FLASHBACK

_I was standing with my back to the hallway. I had Biology next period and I was in no hurry. I had plenty of time. I felt someone staring at me. I turned around and froze. It was Edward Cullen. The most gorgeous guy in all of Forks. Unfortunately he was also a horrible person, but it was hard to remember that when staring into his green eyes. They were amazing. Like Emeralds glittering in the dark._

_"Hey," he said casually. Of coarse he wasn't nervous. I caught my breath and then grimaced at him._

_"What do you want Edward?" I glowered at him and he looked taken aback._

_"I was just saying hi, you are my lab partner after all."_

_"I've been your lab partner all year and you haven't talked to me before," I grabbed my book bag and stormed away. At least I tried to, I tripped and fell before I had even made it a few steps away from him. I swore loudly._

_"Now, now Bella. Watch your language." I was fuming. I stood up and started walking off to Biology._

_"Here let me walk you over. You might trip again." He smirked, grabbing my arm._

_"I don't need your help," I yelled ripping my arm out of his grasp. He looked hurt. "What? Don't any of the girls you do have any personality?" _

_"Not much." He admitted. I snorted._

_"Of coarse." By this time we had reached the Biology classroom. I started to open the door._

_"Wait!" I turned around slowly._

_"What do you want Edward?"_

_"I want to get to know you."_

_"Sure you do, you just want to sleep with me and then dump me like you've done with everyone else in the school."_

_"I could be different." He pleaded. _He _was begging _me_? Well this was a change._

_"No you can't Edward. You won't ever change."_

END OF FLASHBACK

James was waiting for me to reply. I had to tell him. I would not let Edwa- him beat me like this.

"James, I used to go out with Edw-Edward, and he…well…"

"I know." James smiled at me

"What?"

"I'm not deaf. Everyone is still talking about it."

"Well…it didn't end well…I…I was pretty messed up over it."

"I know, and I don't care. I still like you."

"You do, really?" I was soaring inside.

He moved closer and hugged me. I closed my eyes and let myself be engulfed by his sweet sent. When he moved in to kiss me, I let him and it was wonderful. It was nothing like kissing Edward. Wait I could think his name now. It was like James was holding me together so Edward could no longer hurt me. I loved the feeling. I kissed James back with more passion. At first he was surprised, but then he responded by holding me more tightly.

"Some people need to get to there lockers you know," I looked up to see Edward looking at us with a smirk on his face. James held me tighter, holding me together.

"I'm so sorry Edward," I said sarcastically. "If your so desperate that you have to watch other couples kiss, I'm sure Tanya will do you in the Janitor's closet." I was shocked by what had just come out of my mouth. Apparently Edward was too, and the rest of his friends behind him had heard. Including Tanya.

"You're such a slut!" She screamed at me.

"Takes one to know one," I retorted. "And at least I didn't do my boyfriend's best friend under the bleachers while he was scoring the winning touchdown at a certain football game."

"You little b-"

"See you later, we're going." I grabbed James and dragged him off with me.

"Bella?" He sounded shocked.

"I don't get along well with Edward's friends." James squeezed me as I flinched at his name.

"Yeah I suppose not. Look I have History now but I'll meet you outside of Biology, and if that little punk says anything to you, just let me know."

"O.K." It felt good to have someone care again. The feeling of happiness soon left me when I faced the Biology classroom however.

**Do you guys like it? I might do Edward's POV next chapter, or for part of the next chapter. I can't tell you why he broke up with Bella yet. It's a surprise! Review Review Review Review Review Review Review PLEASE!!!!!**


	8. Chapter 8: The Project

**Hey guys sorry this took so long and is so short. I luv all of your reviews they make me feel so special. I'm sorry about my attempt at poetry at the end of this, I hope it doesn't burn your eyes. Someone asked me if this was a Bella/James but it isn't...you'll see... so i'm going on vacation for thee next two weeks so no updates (i'm so sorry) but I hope you enjoy.**

**Disclaimer:**

**Me: hmm.. they'll never find me in this dark alleyway.**

**SM: there she is get her!!!!!!!**

**Me: Oh no!**

**SM: she has my owning twilight documents!!!!**

**Me: I'll rip them up and let them go free so the whole world can own twilight.**

**(one super glue tube later and my plan is ruined)**

**SM: Say it**

**Me: I'm sorry I tried but I don't own twilight **

**SM: I do **

**Me: Just shut up**

"Well class as I'm sure you know, the Biology project is due in two weeks. I suggest that you and your partner should find time to see each other after school. You have a lot of work to do so get started."

"So, are you coming to my house after school?" Edward didn't look at me.

"I guess so." I was terrified. I didn't want to think about his house, let alone go there. I didn't want to see Emmett and Esme and Carlisle. I couldn't take all the memories. But if I didn't go then Edward would know how much I still missed him. I would have to deal with it.

Biology is my last period of the day. I dreaded the end of class knowing I would have to go to Edward's house. I shivered at the thought. As soon as the bell rang, I took my time getting my stuff. I felt movement behind me and I turned around quickly. James was there.

"Hi" I said breathlessly.

"Hi" he replied back with a smirk. "So what do you want to do tonight?" My heart sank. I had to tell him.

"Well I actually have to go over to Edward's house…to work on our Biology project…" His face darkend.

"Do you have to go?" I knew he was annoyed. He didn't like the idea of me being alone with Edward.

"Yes I do, I'm really sorry. It's gonna suck."

"What time should I pick you up?"

"Oh you don't have to do that."

"Yes I do, you're my girlfriend and I love you."

"Thanks" I kissed him and we walked hand in hand to the parking lot.

I knew my way to Edward's house like the back of my hand. When I pulled into his perfect driveway, I was surprised how little it had changed. I shock my head. Why would it have changed without me? His car was already there. Stupid shiny Volvo owner. I went up to the front door and rang the doorbell, praying he didn't open the door, but at the same time worried who might be the one to bring back the memories.

Emmett opened the door.

"Bella?' He seemed shocked but then grinned. "It is you, you look different…" he trailed off and then pulled me into a giant bear hug.

"Can't…breath…Emmett…" he let me go and I looked around. It looked exactly how I remembered it. My eyes started to tear up. No! Why did I have to do this to myself? I can't cry or else Edward will know.

Emmett looked at me funny. Darn it! He could see the tears waiting to spill out.

"Do you know where he is?"

"Ya this way." Emmett knew who I was talking about. He also knew that I was avoiding Edwa- his name.

"Bella!" Esme ran and greeted me as soon as I walked into the room I later realized was the kitchen. It was a very cozy room. I remember when I was here once and…NO I didn't remember anything.

"Bella are you ok?" I looked into the mirror on the wall in front of me. My face was rigid. It looked as hard as stone. My features were distorted with a pain I could not hide. I looked aweful. I realized what Emmett meant when he said I looked different.

"Yes…I think so…I'm just going to use the bathroom." I fled the room. I ran through the hallway towards the bathroom, just praying that I would make it before I flew apart. I ran in and locked the door. I gripped the sink with both hands and looked into the mirror. Why oh why did I not wear water proof mascara today? Oh , that's right, James doesn't make me cry. But he doesn't make me feel the way edwa- he did either. If James dumped me I would be ok. It would hurt but not like the pain I was feeling now. I knew I would never again in my life feel the way I did when I was with him, and it hurt. It hurt my whole body. Every part of me screamed with pain. I collapsed to the floor, my body shaking with sobs. Why?

When I had finally cleaned my face up as best as I could, I started walking back to the kitchen. I stopped at the doorway when I heard Emmett and Edward talking.

"You're being stupid."

"I'm being stupid? Me!"

"Have you even bothered to look at her face after what you did to her?"

"What I did to her! You make it sound like I raped her!"

"You might as well have."

"And what's that supposed to mean?"

"You know exactly what I mean!"

"She has a boyfriend now Emmett."

"So?"

"Well it's not like-"

Edward cut off when he saw me there. My eyes red and puffy and my face hard as marble.

"Bella I-" Emmett started.

"Let's just get this over with, do you have your Biology book with you or did you leave it with Tanya." I asked, deadly sweet.

"Yes I have it" he glared over at me and I winced. It was a long night. When I finally managed to get out of the house I saw James waiting for me. I kissed him as soon as I saw him.

"I love you James" I saw movement from inside the house I turned quickly enough to see Edward staring at us before vanishing into the rest of the house.

"The little pervert." James had seen what I was looking at and squeezed me tighter.

The ride to my house was silent. When we arrived I told him that I was going over to Edward's house every night for the rest of the week and to pick me up at seven. James looked annoyed but accepted it with a shrug.

"I'll see you at school tomorrow Bella,' he whispered my name and it sent shivers down my back.

"Ya see you." I was still disoriented by him whispering my name, but I didn't want to sort out my emotions at the moment. I trudged up to my room. I didn't have any homework left. I had finished it at Edward's because We had finished working early. I took out my journal and started to write.

_Why is it that I care,_

_When you don't_

_Why is it that I cry,_

_When you don't_

_Why is it that I have to lie,_

_When you don't_

_Why is it that I hide,_

_When you don't_

_I miss your cold heart,_

_Even if it were there._

_I still love you, _

_Like I know you don't to me._

_You have fun with your new girl,_

_She won't be as good as me._

I shut the journal with a snap. It was stupid. I knew it. I was always bad at poetry. I new this was no better. But it was about him, and writing it helped. It was as if by writing that I could pour my heart out onto a page and have that page forever. I sighed. _You have fun with your new girl, She won't be as good as me. _ Was that true? Could it be true? I didn't think anyone could love him the way I did, but if he was happier with someone else… I shook off the thought. I might not be able to get over him, but maybe I could get over myself.


	9. Chapter 9: The slap

**A/N I know this one is short but I am leaving in two days and I haven't packed so this will be the last one for two weeks. I'm glad you guys like the story so much. I know you guys want to know if Edward still loves Bella and what he is thinking. I need to do one more Bella chapter then I am going to do a whole Edward POV chapter that will explain his side.**

**Disclaimer:**

**Me: I love you you love me we're one happy family was a great big hug and a kiss from me to you, wont you say you love me too?**

**SM: No I won't now quit stalling**

**Me: Me? stalling? Why would I be stalling?**

**SM: you're doing it right now**

**Me: No i'm not...I'm just...avoiding a certain sentence**

**SM: just say it**

**Me: fine fine I DO NOT OWN THE TWILIGHT BOOKS. I may own them in my mind but not in the real world apperently. **

I only had one more week left of the Biology project. Only one more week of Edwa- him. Every day after I got finished at his house James would be waiting for me. He would ask me how everything was going then he would drive me home. It was a pretty sad routine. But then one day everything changed.

I was at Edward's house working on the project. It was Wednesday, and the project was due the next Monday. We were in a good place but we wanted to get a good grade. I couldn't let Edwa- him think I had done none of the work. I didn't want him to hate me even more then he already did. I was working hard on my speech, while Edward was researching more for his part. I had been staring at the computer for hours and my eyes hurt from the strain. I looked up to see that it was 8:00 pm. I was an hour late! One thing I had learned about James was that he was very punctual. He was never too early and never too late, and he expected everyone else to be the same way.

I was nervous as I grabbed my stuff together and headed for the door.

"Where are you going?" I turned around to see Edward staring at me.

"It's eight, I have to go bye." And I ran out the door. Why did he care? My heart thumped as I cautiously approached James's car. I could see him and he looked mad.

"Where were you?" He growled at me. I was taken aback. I was an hour late, why was he over reacting?

"I-I was typing up my speech and I didn't look at the clock, and I'm so sorry you had to wait." He said nothing. I was worried.

"It's just that I was waiting for you." I looked at him and saw rage burring in his eyes. "Were you with Cullen?"

"Well I was working with him and it was his house." I was confused by the question.

"What were you doing with Cullen?"

"I told you I was just working on the project."

"YOU'RE LYING" he roared and stepped on the brakes. The car squeeled to a stop. His rage was filling up the car. I was terrified. I had never seen him like this before.

"You're going out with Cullen behind my back."

"What? No I'm not, he dumped me-' I was cut short by his hand flying over and making contact with my face. I fell into the side of the door and little white lights exploded in front of my face. I felt dizzy and my eyes teared up. I huddled against the door and tried not to make a sound.

When we got to my house James looked at me.

"I'm sorry." He said stiffly. I should have just walked into my house. I should have told my parents and never seen him again. But I didn't do that. Instead I nodded and let him kiss my forehead. And then I walked into my house and went up to my room.

The left side of my face was red and swollen. I couldn't hide it with make up. New bruises were forming on the right side of my body where I had hit the car door. I was still in shock. I couldn't tell anyone. Word would get out and then Edwa- he would know how weak and stupid I am. I couldn't do it.

Mom and dad flipped when they saw my face the next morning. I had hid the bruises from the door with a long sleave shirt but my face was harder to explain.

"I tripped and hit my face, it's nothing."

"That must have been a hard fall, you have to be more careful sweetheart."

"Ya I know dad. Bye." I hurriedly walked outside. I couldn't be late from Edwa- his house today. I was still so scared that someone would find out.

"Hi Bel- oh my goodness what happened to your face?" Of coarse Alice would notice.

"Nothing happened I just tripped." Alice didn't look satisfied my let it slip for which I was grateful.

All day people commented on my face. James backed up the story of me falling, and I felt sick watching him laugh it off.

"I tried to catch her but she still fell, you know how clumsy she is."

I ran to the bathroom. Luckily nobody was in there. I looked into the mirror and winced at the sight of my red face.

FLASHBACK

_It was windy and cold. The ground was slick with ice. It was a year after the party when Edward proved his love to me. We were walking to his car when I suddenly tripped on a patch of ice. Edward grabbed me just in time. That was just like him. Always saving me at the last minute._

_"Be careful. One of these days I'm not going to be able to catch you. I would feel so bad if anything happened to you" I blushed._

_"It wouldn't be your fault if you weren't around."_

_"But I would feel bad that I wasn't." Edward was so sincere some times._

_"Whatever." I was embarrassed and kept on walking but Edward grabbed my arm and pulled me to his chest._

_"I promise you Isabella Swan, that as long as I'm around you will always be safe, I will always protect you."_

END OF FLASHBACK

But where was he now? When I needed protection the most. He had left me and hurt me, and now while I was trying to hurt him, I was hurting myself.

Suddenly I couldn't stand looking at my face anymore. I ran out of the bathroom and into James's arms.


	10. Chapter 10: The Dilemma

**I know you are all mad at me but I had a lot of fun on Vacation and I hope you enjoy this**

**Disclaimer: Shut up, I wouldn't be writing a fan fic if I owned the story (Stephenie Meyer owns the whole freaking' series)**

"What is it baby?" James sneered at me. I looked around the hallway and didn't see anyone. He could do anything and nobody would know.

"N-nothing" I stammered.

"Of coarse not. What else _would_ you be doing?" he laughed at his own wit. Suddenly his face turned grim and his eyes burned with rage. I slammed into the wall as he punched me in the stomach. I saw stars as my head made contact with the hard cement walls.

"You disgust me. Go fix yourself before anyone notices." He said as he shoved me back into the bathroom.

I carefully lifted up my shirt to see a bruise already forming on my already pale skin. Why the hell did everything happen too me. No, only the bad things. I thought about it. I had had a perfectly normal childhood. My parents were still together, unlike most of the world, and I was a very happy only child until I fell in love with him…

I walked out of the bathroom and made my way to class. I didn't have any classes with James so I didn't need to worry about seeing him, although I did have this class with the one person I didn't want to see right now. The person who ruined my life. The person who-

"Watch it Swan!" To make my great life even better, I walked into Tanya making out with Edward in front of our classroom. I kept on walking strait for the door. I didn't yell or shout or be the kick ass Bella I had been working on before James, before James hit me. Why was it that I could say "James hit me" but not Edw- Edw- _his_ name? They both hurt me. In fact James hurt me a lot more then _he_ ever did. What was wrong with me?

I sat down at my seat and waited for the devil himself to join me. When he finally sat down he looked a bit embarrassed but I don't know why he would. I knew for a fact that he had slept with Tanya tons of times.

FLASHBACK

_It was after the first party that we went to as a couple. I was headed to my locker with Edward's arm firmly wrapped around my waist. I was in utter bliss. Edward was the guy of my dreams. Behind his popular disguise was an actual intellectual person who deeply cared about me and loved me. _

_When I pulled open my locker, thinking about the dat4e Edward had planned for us that Saturday, a bunch of DVD's fell out. I picked one up and read the title that was scrawled across the front: EDWARD AND TANYA #5. I turned to face Edward._

_"What are these?" I said deadly sweet._

_"Umm….you see well when Tanya and I were together….she would…er…..make a tape every time we did it so she could prove to her friends that she…er did it." He rushed the last sentence as if by saying it faster he would get it over with more quickly._

_I looked at the mess of DVD's on the floor. There were at least ten._

_"Well at least you're experienced." I snapped as I stormed off to first period._

END OF FLASHBACK

"You have some lipstick on your face," I snarled at him without meeting his eyeline. Although he did it less frequently now, his glare still scared me.

"Erm…thanks?" he grunted wiping it off quickly.

"So how are things with Tanya, I'm sorry I broke some of your earlier DVD's, you could have used them to improve your form." I giggled inwardly as remembered crushing them under my feet and burning the remains…I think I'll stick with the less violent verb "breaking".

"I'm taking it slow with Tanya actually." I was so surprised that I laughed out loud. Still not meeting his eyes I said:

"Are you serious??? Taking it slow with Tanya?"

"Is it so surprising to you that I might actually want a relationship with someone." His words stung as I knew they were meant to. I had been his first real relationship and blowing it off like that hurt…a lot.

"Yes it does, I woud have placed you as more of a 'bam bam thank you ma'am' sort of guy." I was never good at insults and I doubt that he was even vaguely phased, but he didn't talk to me for the rest of class so I have no idea what he was thinking.

I had driven myself to school that morning and I was relieved until I remembered that today was my second to last day working at Edw- _his_ house. I almost started crying at the thought of the beating I was going to get if I was late again.

When I got to his house I expected Esme or Emmett to open the door, but I was startled when it was Edward's face I saw opening up the giant mahogany front door.

"Esme and Emmett aren't here" he said as if reading my mind.

"Oh" I didn't ask why and it would have been pointless anyway seeing as he had already moved on.

We were only alone for a few hours. Esme came home first and immediately started preparing dinner. I looked up at the clock to see that I had one more minuet. I knew James would be waiting, just like I knew he had stolen my car key and had already driven my car back home. I knew he would be mad at me, but it would be worse if I was late. Either I leave now and be perfectly on time, or stay to the end and not make Edward think I was being wimpy. I decided that I couldn't take anymore pain.

I was right. James was there and James was mad.

"I know you were there alone with him. Think how much could get done in an hour" He purred in a deadly seductive voice. I knew there was no save answer so I said nothing. He slammed me against the car.

"Answer me" he growled. It was amazing how inhumane he looked at that moment. I wouldn't have been surprised if he grew fangs and lunged at me…

"We were just studying, he doesn't love me" I sputtered.

"Who doesn't love you Bella?" he taunted me and suddenly I couldn't take it anymore. I lunged at him, I didn't have a plan and there was no way I could hurt him but I tried. He growled again and threw me to the ground and started hitting and punching every part of me that he could reach. The pain was unbearable. However a very strange thing happened as he was beating me. It was as if every blow to my small body was attacking the wall in my head. Each hit tore a hole and let my memories out. The good and the bad.

_Being with Edward_

_Laughing with Edward_

_Dancing with Edward_

_Crying with Edward_

And the harder he punched me the more complex the emotions pouring out of me were.

_Learning to trust Edward_

_Learning how to be myself with Edward_

_And just pure Edward_

I was almost unconscious when I finally opened my eyes and looked into the bright light coming from one of the Cullen Windows and saw Edward standing there. I met his eyes for the first time in a long time without him glaring, and I knew he had seen the whole thing.

**Will Edward help Bella or walk away? I need your ideas people!!!! REVIEW I am going to do Edward's POV from the whole story now before i say what happens next unless you guys don't want me too. please tell me what you want. I love you guys so much, your support made me write this now after a long and tiring day (and made me miss dinner!!!) so please please please REVIEW**


	11. Chapter 11: The breakup

**well here it is I hope you guys like it**

EPOV

"Why?" she asked me and I could see the pain in her eyes. I almost broke down then. I couldn't hurt my Bella. My eyes were wet with unshed tears but I could tell she couldn't see them due to the rain pouring down on us. I wanted to scream at all of the curious teachers and students watching us like we were some kind of soap opera on television. This was real.

She didn't have her jacket on and her shirt was getting soaked. I wanted to wrap a protective arm around her. I wanted to shield her from all of the horrible twists that life is full of. I looked into her eyes and knew that I couldn't answer her question, no matter how much it hurt. I got into my car and drove away trying to ignore the pain rippling through my chest. I had had Emmett drop off her car with her jacket in it earlier today.

FLASHBACK

_"I need you to drop off Bella's car at school." I told Emmett that morning, barely looking at him. I was headed out the door to pick up Bella. It was stupid but I need all the time I had left with her._

_"Why?" Yes Why was a good question. Why did life have to be so unfair? Why couldn't I be with Bella? Why did I have to hurt her?_

_"Just do it," I snarled. Emmett looked taken aback._

_"Tell me why or I won't do it" I pinched the bridge of my nose._

_"I'm breaking up with Bella and she'll need a ride home." He stared at me, dumbfounded. _

_"Nu- uh you can't! She's my little sis!"_

_"Well I have to."_

_"Is this because of-"_

_"Yes Emmett!"_

_"Dude, that doesn't mean anything."_

_"To you it doesn't."_

_"So you're just gonna leave Bella so you can go to collage?" _

_"Ya." It sounded so lame and Emmett knew that._

_"It's only Havard Edward. Why do you need to break up with her?"_

_"I don't wan't her to get hurt."_

_"What do you mean get hurt? How could she get hurt? I'm sure she would be fine with a long distance relationship!" I almost told him the real reason right there and then, but I couldn't. I could never tell anyone, ever._

_"I have to go, just drop off her car, O.K."_

_"Sure, whatever dude, but you're making a huge mistake." I had made a huge mistake a long time ago, and now I could never take it back._

_I was at the door when Emmett stopped me._

_"You could do it you know." I just stared at him. What?_

_"You've changed, _she_ changed you. You wouldn't cheat on her." If only it was that simple I thought to myself as I headed out the door. If only._

END OF FLASHBACK

"If only" I said to myself as I reached my driveway. Tears were streaming down my cheeks at this point and I was glad I had made it home. I didn't want to crash my car into a tree. Although, I thought to myself as I turned off the engine, that might not be so bad.

**so as you can tell i'm doing the story over from Edward's pov, should I switch back to present time or do you guys like it? thank you so much for all of the reviews, i can't tell you how happy they make me! i never thought I would get over 60!!!!! so thank you so much. i luv u all. just remember: me+reviews+soda+(suger+ice cream)to the second power=more updates**


	12. Chapter 12:The Druggy

**WOW! I got so many different opinions from my last chapter! Some want me to continue with the story, some want me to go on with EPOV! I think I'm going to start EPOV from when James transferred to the school and started dating Bella and work up from there. IMPORTANT: Edward did not break up with Bella because of Harvard! That was just his excuse for the rest of his family! When he's thinking: "**_**I wish it were that simple"**_** he's saying that he wishes that the reason he had to break up with Bella was as simple as the excuse he gave. Sorry for those of you that didn't understand, that's my fault. **

EPOV

BEEP BEEP BEEP

Why the hell do they make alarm clocks so loud? At least Bella could- no she couldn't make my day better. She could never make me better. It had been awful having to glare at Bella during classes, but I figured that if she thought I didn't care about her anymore she would move on faster. I could see the fear in her eyes whenever she glanced my way, and it was all the more painful because I knew it was my fault.

When I got to school, I was expecting it to be like any other day: classes, lunch, classes, home. However I was surprised by the buzz of gossip circulating around the school about a new student named James. I froze in my place. No this couldn't be happening, James couldn't be here! There were thousands of people named James, it had to be another one. I ran around the school trying to find an unfamiliar face, all the time thinking, not here, not here, oh please God don't let him be here.

I continued my frantic searching until lunch time. I knew I would see him then. I searched every table with my eyes as I sat down at my seat, surrounded by my "friends" and then I saw him.

FLASHBACK

_It was late at night. Tanya was leaning against me. This was before I knew Bella. We were waiting for a drug dealer that Tanya was friends with. We were having a party tonight and my stash was out. _

_Suddenly a dark figure emerged from the shadows in front of us._

_"Hi James" Tanya said sweetly._

_"Who's your friend?' James asked gruffly, pointing at me._

_"This is my boyfriend, Edward. We have a party to get to may we hurry this up?"_

_"Do you have the money/" Tanya looked at me._

_"How much?" I asked caustiously._

_"2 thouand __**(I don't know how much drugs cost so work with me here)**__" I gulped._

_"I have $1,500, is that O.K.?" James smirked._

_"How about this, you take your pretty girl and the drugs back to your oh so special rich kid party and them tomorrow you deliver some weed for me. Deal?"_

_"Sure." I was just relieved he hadn't shot me._

_"Wonderful" he smiled._

_Years later I was still working for James. And although I hadn't been shot, I had seen him shoot enough people for a lifetime._

END OF FLASHBACK

If only Bella knew that I was breaking up with her so she wouldn't get hurt. If only she knew how dangerous James was.

I was startled into reality when I saw James get up from his seat and walk towards a girl. I wasn't really worried until I realized that the brunette he was headed towards was my Bella. I bit back a snarl as I watched him tap her on her shoulder. I wanted to scream at him to get his filthy hands off of Bella, but I knew that would only get us both killed.

I watched as they talked to each other. Biting my tongue every time she smiled at him. How could she not see that he was dangerous? But then it got worse. James motioned for Bella to come with him. As they walked out of the cafeteria, she looked at our table. She looked into my eyes for a moment and I tried to warn her, but I don't know what she saw in my green eyes.

As soon as they had walked out the door I turned to my friends.

"Come on let's go" and they gladly followed me out the door. Jessica and Tanya were fuming and I knew they had been planning how to ask James on a date. We found the in the deserted locker hallway. They were talking.

"I'm not deaf. Everyone is still talking about it." What was everyone talking about?

"Well…it didn't end well…I…I was pretty messed up over it." Oh my poor Bella. They were talking about how I had broken up with her. And it was all James's fault.

"I know, and I don't care. I still like you.'

"You do, really?" Why did she sound so surprised that a guy would like her? Half of the guys in the school were planning on dating her after I dumped her! But then she started kissing him and my world fell apart. I had never before felt so much pain and agony. I needed to make him stop touching her.

"Some people need to get to there lockers you know," I didn't know why I said it. It just popped out of my mouth, and it didn't even work. They stopped kissing but James held her more tightly in his disgusting arms.

"I'm so sorry Edward." She said sarcastically. "If you're so desperate that you have to watch other couples kiss, I'm sure Tanya will do in the Janitor's closet." I couldn't believe she had just said that. Did she hate me that much? The answer was yes. Then I realized that she had said "couple" referring to herself and James. My head was still reeling when Tanya spoke up.

"You're such a slut!" She screamed at Bella.

"Takes one to know one. And at least I didn't do my boyfriend's best friend under the bleachers while he was scoring the winning touchdown at a certain football game." I almost laughed at that one. I remembered that incident. The whole school was buzzing with the news for a whole month. Good come back Bella!

"You little b-" Tanya was cut off by Bella.

"See you later, we're going." And with that she grabbed James and left for her next class.

I needed to see Bella again. To make sure she was O.K. thank God we had our last class together…


	13. Chapter 13: The DrugsThe pain

**Ok guy I know I haven't updated in a long time so sorry. And sorry that this chapter isn't very good**

**Disclaimer: **

**Me: I do not own any part of twilight what so ever. It all belongs to Stephenie Meyer**

**SM: Hell yea**

When I walked into the Biology classroom the first thing I noticed was that Bella still wasn't here. Ever since I dumped her she had always been early to all her classes. I felt so guilty, but I knew it was for the better. If Bella knew I was working for a drug dealer she would never forgive me, but I couldn't stand lying to her either…

Where the hell is she? What I James hurt her? What if she thought I had told her something? What if it was all my fault? What if-

I sighed as she came through the classroom door. She looked a little anxious but I couldn't understand why. Had James done something to her?

"Well class as I 'm sure you know, the Biology project is due in two weeks. I suggest that you and your partner should find time to see each other after school. You have a lot of work to do so get started." I had forgotten about the stupid project, although I was ecstatic about being alone with my Bella…

"So are you coming to my house after school?" I didn't look at her. Instead I focused on a lump missing from the side of the desk. I waited eagerly for her reply. She thought for a moment and then answered.

"I guess so." I chanced a glance at her. She looked scared. Was she afraid of me? The rest of class passed by slowly. I couldn't wait for the end of the day. Maybe I could even drive her home- NO I couldn't! I had to pretend to hate her, to protect her.

As soon as class ended Bella leapt up out of her seat and headed to the door. I followed her. As soon as I got into the hallway I stopped and listened.

"Hi" Bella said, sounding a little breathless.

"Hi. So what do you want to do tonight?" I bit back a snarl. She was talking to James!

"Well I actually have to go over to Edward's house…to work on our Biology project…" She sounded regretful, and how could she not? She wanted to be with her boyfriend not her ex-boyfriend. Even if he was a deranged psycho drug dealing murderer.

"Do you have to go?" He was mad and I could tell. He tried to cover it up but it was just the sound he made when someone didn't have the money they promised him. I bit back the urge to run over and scoop up Bella. To protect her from him. But I couldn't or we would both be dead. I had missed part of the conversation. I quickly started paying attention.

"Oh you don't have to do that." That was my Bella. What had James offered to do?

"Yes I do, you're my girlfriend and I love you." I held back another snarl.

"Thanks" They had started rounding the corner when she kissed him and I had to get away. Not only because I would have hell to pay if James caught me listening but because I was just too painful to watch. My sweet innocent Bella with that murderer. I couldn't take it any more. I just wanted to die, but then nobody would be able to protect my Bella. I knew that I could not let anything happen to her. I could never forgive myself if she got hurt. It would be all my fault.

When I got home I waited for Bella. I knew it wouldn't take her too long to get to my house. She knew the way. I was setting up my books when I heard the doorbell ring.

"I got it" Emmett yelled as he ran to get the door.

"Bella?" He sounded shocked. What was wrong with him? "It is you, you look different…" he trailed off. So that was it, he noticed how sad she looked and it was all my fault.

"Can't…breath…Emmett…!" He must be giving her one of his signature Emmett hugs.

"Do you know where he is" I noticed how she didn't say my name and it hurt.

"Ya this way." Emmett knew she was talking about me.

"Bella!" Esme greeted her as soon as she walked into the kitchen. I could see her now but she didn't notice me. She looked awful. Her beautiful features were distorted in pain that she could not hide.

"Bella are you ok?" Esme asked worriedly.

"Yes… I think so…I'm just going to use the bathroom." She ran out of the room. As soon as she was out of earshot Emmett rounded on me.

"This is all your fault."

"I don't know what you're talking about."

"You know what I'm talking about."

"I don't" I said stubbornly.

"B-E-L-L-A" Emmett said her named slowly and painfully. He knew that I didn't like talking about her. He knew how much it hurt me.

"What about her?" Finally Emmett lost it.

"You're being stupid." He roared.

"I'm being stupid? Me!" I was being smart! I was doing what was right for Bella. I thought…

"Have you even bothered to look at her face after what you did to her." Yes I had bothered, and it had almost killed me.

"What I did to her! You make it sound like I raped her!" I growled inwardly at the thought of someone doing that to my Bella.

"You might as well have." Did he really think of me like that? He didn't know the whole story. How could I tell him I worked for a drug dealer.

"And what's that supposed to mean!" I shouted, but I knew what he had meant.

"You know exactly what I mean!" My anger died down and I half-whispered:

"She has a boyfriend now Emmett."

"So"

"Well it's not like-" and then I saw her in the doorway. Her eyes were red and puffy and I knew that she had been crying. I just wanted to wrap my arms around her and hold her close to me.

"Bella I-" Emmett started to say to her but then she interrupted, her face set and her eyes as cold as marble.

"Let's just get this over with, do you have your Biology book or did you leave it with Tanya?" She asked deadly sweet. I couldn't believe she thought that of my.

"Yes I have it" I glared at her and saw her wince. I immediately felt guilty but I didn't say anything.

The night ended quickly. No matter how much I wanted to, I couldn't stop her from going back to James tomorrow. As soon as she left the house I ran over to the window to watch her leave, only to see James there holding my Bella. She looked up and I could tell she saw me. James followed her eyes and saw me too. I saw him wink at me then bend down to whisper delicately into Bella's ear.

I walked to my room and slammed the door. I couldn't take it anymore. I just wanted to be free. To not have to worry anymore. I just wanted to not have to think the thoughts that were slowly burning my insides away.

I slowly reached into my desk drawer. I pulled out the zip lock bag. My hand was shaking as I looked at my stash of drugs. I told myself I would never do them again. I would not give James a reason to keep working for him. I needed to at least try to be good enough for Bella, even if I could never have her.

I stared at the bag. I didn't know what to do. I wanted to forget everything, just for tonight.

**Does Eddy do the drugs!!!!! You guys tell me : ) Do you like the story? I know this chapter isn't as good as my other ones. I sort of felt weird when I was writing it. I usually feel connected when I write but I didn't this time so sorry it's really bad. PLEASE REVIEW**


	14. Chapter 14: The Feeling of Dread

**Ok please don't hate me for not updating soon. I was having some summer fun…ok I have no excuses. You guys are the best readers ever! I have 98 reviews!!!! 2 more until 100! When I first started this story I thought I was only gonna get like 10! I luv you guys so much!!!!**

**Disclaimer: Me: I don't own Twilight**

**SM: What no fuss this time?**

**Me: Nope… but if you don't let me own it you'll never see your cat alive again**

**SM: No not Mr. Fuzzybottom! Wait I can just call the cops on you!**

**Me: Darn it!**

_I slowly reached into my desk drawer. I pulled out the zip lock bag. My hand was shaking as I looked at my stash of drugs. I told myself I would never do them again. I would not give James a reason to keep working for him. I needed to at least try to be good enough for Bella, even if I could never have her._

_I stared at the bag. I didn't know what to do. I wanted to forget everything, just for tonight._

I threw the bag aside. I had to be good for Bella. Even though she would never forgive me I would try to be good for her. I would flush all of my drugs down the toilette and quit working for James, and if Bella ever did want to be with me I couldn't lie to her. I would tell her the truth and then of coarse she would run away as fast as she could. I was a monster. I had let innocent people be killed in front of my very eyes. I did not deserve her but I would still try.

There was only one more week left of the Biology project. Only one more week to be with Bella. The days had gone by more quickly ever since I had almost taken the drugs. Bella would come with James and Bella would leave with James.

The Wednesday before the project was due Bella stayed at my house late. A whole hour late. I glanced at her quickly but could tell that she didn't notice the time. I knew James was a freak about time. I remembered one guy who had come to him for drugs that was three hours late. That, and the fact that he didn't have the money he promised resulted in him having a bullet in the heart. I felt sick thinking back to the man slamming into the wall behind him. The shock on his face as he looked down to see the red stain slowly, ever so slowly, spreading on his dirty grey shirt. The horror in his eyes as he realized what had happened, as he realized that these were his last moments on earth. And then he had looked at me. Right in the eye and I knew this was my punishment for not stopping this, because seeing the intelligent light go out from someone's eyes is not something you can easily forget. I was still thinking about it to this day.

His obituary was in the paper a week later. He had a wife and three kids all of who did not know that he had been getting drugs from James for five years. The autopsy showed that he had been smoking weed and the police were still after the drug dealer: James.

I was so deep in thought that I was startled when Bella jumped up.

"Where are you going?" I asked automatically, staring at her. Her warm brown eyes met mine for a moment and I was shocked at how beautiful they were.

"It's eight, I have to go bye." She said in a rush. As she hurried out of the room my eyes never left her. Even as I heard the front door slam I still sat there, motionless. Why couldn't I just forget her? Why couldn't I be like I was pretending to be, cold and heartless. Like how I used to be. But then Bella broke open the hard shell of my heart and opened it up to the world. She was all that mattered to me.

I was still sitting in the same place an hour later when Emmett found me.

"Dude, you're kind of messed up." I looked at him and it took a few moments for me to register what he had said.

"I know." It was true, I was messed up, but in ways I could never explain to him.

"Well anyways… you should probably show some signs of life or something. Mom's getting worried."

"O.K." I said distantly as I got up and walked past him. He watched me go, looking concerned. I felt weird as I approached the stairs that led to my room. I knew instantly what it was as soon as I walked by the window that had a clear view of the driveway. I hadn't watched Bella leave today. Although I knew it would make no difference whether I watched her go or not, I still felt guilty for not seeing her go. _Stupid._ I thought to myself when I crawled into bed a few minutes later.

The next day as I was walking down the hallway to my next class I saw a cluster of students gathering in front of some lockers. It was really annoying. They were causing a blockage in the hallway. I walked by quickly but was distracted when I recognized the voice coming from the middle of the crowd.

"I tried to catch her but she still fell, you know how clumsy she is," James laughed and I felt sickened. How could he laugh about my Bella falling? I looked more closely and saw that the left side of her face was red and puffy. It looked painful. How could James not be more careful with my angel? How could anyone not make her safety a top priority. But then I remembered that this was James.

Suddenly Bella shot out from the group and headed for the Bathroom. I might have imagined it but I could have sworn that I saw the glimmer of unshed tears gathering in her beautiful doe brown eyes. I shook off my feelings of dread and walked on to my next class.

**Ok so next chapter is James Vs. Edward/possibly Emmett. As always I welcome your thoughts ideas and criticisms. I no it took me forever to update and I'm sorry but I'll try to be faster. After this is done I'm thinking about writing another twilight fan fic called Therapy, I'll give you more details on that later.**

**Luv you guys! **

**(Review!!!!)**


	15. Chapter 15: The Fight

**I know you guys probably hate me for not updating faster. I'm really sorry I just had to deal with some stuff… Anyway here is the chapter**

**Disclaimer:**

**Don't own it never will never have**

_Suddenly Bella shot out from the group and headed for the Bathroom. I might have imagined it but I could have sworn that I saw the glimmer of unshed tears gathering in her beautiful doe brown eyes. I shook off my feelings of dread and walked on to my next class._

I was deep in thought when my thoughts were interrupted by a shrill voice.

"Hey Edward, you look so lonely." She then grabbed the front of my shirt and slammed me against the wall. I was so startled that I didn't even fight back when she started kissing me roughly. I was trying to get her off of me when I heard her snarl.

"Watch it Swan!" I saw my Bella staring open mouthed. I saw a flicker in her eyes but before I could tell what emotion it was she pulled her face together and walked straight into the classroom next to us. Our classroom.

With a sense of dread I pushed Tanya off me and headed into the Biology room. I was embarrassed. I had a strong feeling that Tanya had seen Bella coming up the hallway before she attacked me. I walked over to my seat and sat down cautiously.

"You have some lipstick on your face" she growled, yes _growled_, at me. She did not meet my eye line however which was very frustrating. I could always tell how Bella was feeling by looking in her eyes.

"Erm…thanks?" I grunted feeling embarrassed. I wiped my face and sure enough some cherry flavored lip gloss came off.

"So how are things with Tanya, I'm sorry I broke some of your earlier DVD's, you could have used them to improve your form." It took a moment for me to remember what she was talking about but then I remembered the sex tapes that Tanya had put in Bella's locker when we started dating in a vain attempt to get me back. I was suddenly angry. She knew that I had changed from when she first knew me.

"I'm taking it slow with Tanya actually," I lied casually. I was surprised and a little indignant went I heard her snort with derisive laughter.

"Are you Serious? Taking it slow with Tanya?" she sounded incredulous.

"Is it so surprising to you that I might actually want a relationship with someone." I immediately regretted the words as soon as they slipped from my mouth. I knew it sounded like I was blowing our relationship off and I could see the pain in her beautiful chocolate eyes. However she pulled herself back together in record time.

"Yes it does, I would have placed you as more of a 'bam bam thank you ma'am' sort of guy." That was what I used to be. _If only you knew why. If only I could tell you._I thought desperately to myself.

Tonight was the second to last night of our Biology project. I didn't wnt our time together to end. When Bella was with me I knew she was safe. I didn't want to let her go. I was surprised that she drove herself to my house today. Usually James, I grimaced at his name, drove her everywhere. Esme left a note saying that she and Emmett had left to do some errandsso I had to answer the door when she knocked. Clearly she wasn't expecting to see me.

"Esme and Emmett aren't here" I saw that her expression cleared and I was glad that I could still sense her emotions. I turned away to hide my grin.

"Oh," I heard her say faintly from behind me.

We worked in silence until Esme came in and started making dinner. I glanced at Bella to see that she was looking at the clock. I followed her gaze and saw that there was still one more minuet. I turned my attention back to Bella's face. She looked conficted and I couldn't tell why. Finally she sighed and picked up her bag and left the house quickly. We still had a minuet left. Why was she in such a rush to leave? I walked over to the window and gasped at what I saw.

James slammed Bella against the car. I was frozen in shock. How could someone do that to my Bella? And suddenly the mystery of Bella's swollen face this morning became clear in my mind. James was abusing my poor Bella!

The window was partially open so I could hear all that was being said.

"Answer me," he growled.

"We were just studying, he doesn't love me," Bella said desperately. I felt cold all over. This was all my fault. Bella was getting abused because James thought she was cheating on him with me. I felt sick.

"Who doesn't love you Bella?" he taunted and I saw Bella lunge at James. James merely flung her to the ground and stated punching every inch of her he could reach.

And then at the exact moment I unfroze and was about to run out of the house and try to save her, she looked at me. As our gaze met I knew she knew I was here and I tried to tell her with my eyes that it was going to be ok. I would help her. But it only lasted a few seconds before she lost consciousness.

I ran out and slammed into James, sending him flying backwards. He sprung back up.

"Leave her alone." I stood in front of her praying it wasn't too late. That I wasn't too late. If she died it would be all my fault.

"Stay out of this Edward."

"No. You. Will. Never. Hurt. Her. Again." I said through clenched teeth.

"What's it matter to you? You left her!" he taunted.

"I had to-" but at that moment Emmett pulled up in his jeep. He jumped out of the car and surveyed the scene. Bella crumpled up in pain and me and James both about to attack.

"What the Hell is going on?" he looked at me but James spoke first.

"Yes Eddy, tell Emmett all about the drugs."

"What?" Emmett stared at me. "What the Hell."

"Don't listen to him Emmett. He's hurting Bella." Then without warning James pulled out his shotgun. I had seen that weapon kill so many…

"You should have just stayed out of this Eddy" James pointed the gun at my heart.

"Oh my God, what the Hell???" James pointed the gun at Emmett and in his moment of distraction I leapt at him. He fell backwards and a single gun shot went off. I didn't have time to see where the bullet went because Emmett and I were on top of James wrestling the gun out of his hand. As soon as we got it Emmett knocked him unconscious with a single blow and pulled out his cell phone to call 911. I wanted to continue punching James into oblivion but I knew I had to get back to Bella who was the most important thing in the world now. I ran over to her and looked down and gasped.

I now knew where that single bullet was.

**Hope you guys like it. Please please please review. You guys don't know how much they mean to me. I really will update more if I get a lot. I know chapters have been sucking a bit recently but I hope this was ok.**

**REVIEW!!!!!**


	16. Chapter 16: The Hospital

**Omg thank you so much for all of the reviews. I luv you guys so much that I'm writing you another chapter while my brother plays football videogames in my room…don't ask. Anyway, here's the story…**

**Disclaimer: never will never did **

Bella POV

I just remember looking into his eyes, knowing that he saw what was happening to me, and then I passed out. The dark was comforting and I soon found myself in a meadow that he had once brought me to.

"_Bella," He looked me in the eyes and his tongue seemed to caress my name as he spoke it._

_"Edward," I whispered his name back softly. His eyes seemed to glow even brighter when I said his name._

_"Bella I love you, I always will."_

"_I know," I said. I didn't know what to think. Could he have really changed so much in such a short time? Could I trust him with my fragile heart?_

_He approached me slowly as if any sudden movement would scare me away. It seemed like slow motion as he leaned in to kiss my lips softly at first, but the more urgently. I responded with force and before I knew it we were rolling around on the soft grass and petals that had fallen from a nearby tree. When we finally stopped for breath Edward just looked at me._

"_I'll never leave you. I promise I'll never hurt you." He looked so sincere at that moment that I believed him. I trusted him. Loosing him would crush me but I was willing to take a risk just this once…_

"_I love you," It was the first time I ever told him that and he hugged me closer to him. I loved the way the three words felt in my mouth and I said it over and over again._

"_I love you I love you I love you I love-"_

And then there was a loud pop and instant pain. I couldn't breath I could hear shouting and tried to call for help but I couldn't make a sound I heard a scuffle and I tried to move away from the sounds of fighting but the pain was too intense and all I let out was a whimper of pain.

Then the noise ended. There was silence and then three beeps, like from a cell phone and then the yelling started.

"Bella, oh God Bella. It's all my fault Bella, please don't die you can't die, oh please God Bella. PLEASE." The last word was a strangled shout. I plea for me to be ok. I knew that voice and I knew it was in pain. I had to stop it from hurting because I could not bear to let my other half suffer. I summoned all my remaining strength to open my eyes and say faintly:

"Edward…"

EPOV

I was looking down horrified by the mangled and bloody body in front of me. I couldn't stand to see it so lifeless and so vulnerable. She needed to be ok or I would die with her. If he killed her it would be all my fault.

"Edward…" She whispered and opened her eyes. My heart melted and I broke down and sobbed.

"Bella, Bella.' I cried over and over again. She wasn't dead. She wasn't dead. My Angle wasn't dead. I heard the ambulances and police cars pull up in front of our house. I could hear Esme screaming and trying to find out what had happened but I didn't care. My Bella was all that mattered.

I stared at the white wall of the waiting room. How long could it take? Why couldn't they at least tell us what was happening? Emmett sat on one side of me and Esme was on the other. Emmett kept looking at me weird and I knew he was thinking about what James had said about the drugs. Emmett wasn't stupid. I think he figured out what was going on. I didn't meet his gaze however as I waited for someone anyone to come out of that room.

I doctor in green scrubs came out, stripping off a pair of bloody gloves. I felt nutios thinking that it was Bella's blood. He removed his surgical mask and told us what was going on.

"You may go in and see her now. She is still out from the drugs but we are certain she will make a full recovery. We successfully removed the bullet from her leg. It didn't hit any main arteries so she will be fine in a few weeks." I wasn't really listening to the rest of his speech. As soon as he said she wasn't going to die I had leapt up from my seat and was ready to charge into her room. When the doctor finally left I headed for te doors stopping right before I opened them to glance back at my family.

"Go," Esme said and she looked at me softly. "I'll call Charlie and Rene."

"Thank you," I said quietly as she walked out the other door. I was just about to push open Bella's door when I giant hand held me back. I turned to face Emmett.

"Why didn't you tell me bro?" He said and I knew I couldn't get out of this conversation.

"I couldn't, he would have killed you."

"You still should have told us. He wouldn't have to find out."

"I know I was stupid."

"Yea you were." His words hurt but I knew I deserved them.

"I couldn't put Bella at that risk. I thought I was helping her."

"Thought wrong then, didn't you?" He said coldly. I couldn't stand the look in his eyes. Disappointment, grief, sorrow.

I couldn't take it anymore and pushed my way into Bella's room.

**Ok so sorry this is a short one but I updated earlier today so cut me some slack. Please please please review! They mean so much to me! Oh and since this story is gonna end soon I'm thinking about starting another one. It might not be as good as this one (if this one is even gud) but if you want to try it I'll let you know when details are posted on my profile. Luv you gusy!!!**

**REVIEW**


	17. Chapter 17: The Brotherly Talk

**Thanks for all of your reviews : ) they really help! Sorry for the wait but I had some stuff I needed to do this week.**

**Disclaimer: Don't own it**

EPOV

There she was. Lying peacefully on one of the hospital beds. I walked up slowly to the side of her bed, gazing down at her beautiful face. I knew that everything was about to get complicated. I knew that I had to talk to Emmett. I knew that I had to find out what happened to James. But for now I didn't think about any of that. I just thought about the beautiful girl in front of me who was hurt by me in so many ways. It was like the calm before the storm. The only noise came from the steady beeping and whirring of the medical machines.

Careful not to disturb Bella, I carefully lifted the blanket off her arm and gasped. The hospital gown she was wearing only came halfway down her arm but that was enough. I could clearly see all of the yellow and blue bruises forming against her ivory white skin. And as I looked at her bruised and damaged arm, something broke inside me. It was my fault, it was all my fault. The tears came thick and fast and I shook with heavy, heart wrenching sobs. My vision blurred and my cheeks burned where the tears came down. I hated myself. How could I have let all of this happen?

"It's not your fault you know." I heard the voice from behind me but I didn't immediately turn. I didn't want to face him yet.

"How do you know." I whispered to the asylum white wall in front of me. "You don't know what I did. You don't know what I've seen. You don't know- you don't know-" I couldn't finish as a fresh wave of misery overcame me.

"No I don't know," Emmett's voice was closer now but I still refused to turn around. "But you could tell me."

"No I can't. I can't tell anyone. That's my punishment for what I've done." I gestured at Bella's lifeless form on the bed beside me. "I have to keep it all to myself."

I heard a sharp intake of breath from behind me as Emmett started talking.

"Edward, the world doesn't work like that. You made some mistakes. You f***ed some stuff up. Everyone does it at some point in their life. Admittedly maybe not like what you did but you have to get over it. Beating yourself over and over isn't gonna help Bella, Hell it isn't gonna help anyone. You just have to live with the fact that you messed up and try your hardest to make up for it. " Emmett glared at me as if daring me to prove him wrong.

"But I can't just forget. Every time I look at Bella, I feel so guilty."

"Well then you're just gonna have to suck it up, aren't you? How exactly is this your fault anyway. You weren't the one beating the shit out of Bella." His eyes darkened at the memory

"I broke up with her. I made her want to get together with another guy to get over me. I didn't turn in James when I found out about him."

"But you broke up with Bella so James didn't hurt her and because you thought it was better for her not to be with a drug dealer. So from what I see you were just trying to protect her."

"But I didn't. I failed!" I cried in distress.

"How could you have known what was going to happen? You made the smartest choice and it wasn't the wrong choice-" Emmett's voice had risen to an almost-shout when I interrupted him.

"But it was the wrong choice Bella got hurt and it's all-"

"Don't you dare say 'it's all my fault' you just want to blame this all on yourself. You couldn't control the situation so you're just trying to find someone to blame, yourself." I started to say something but stopped. I didn't know how to respond.

"As I was saying, it wasn't the wrong choice because even if you decided to stick with Bella you could have told her about the drugs and James could have killed her. There were too many variables and you made the right choice. You have to get over the fact that it isn't your fault. You can be sad that the situation happened. You can be sad Bella got hurt, but you can't just hide in a corner and think of every what if- and every variable. You have to talk to someone. You need to talk to Bella."

"But what if I'm not best for Bella?" I said hoarsely. The fear in my voice was so obvious and genuine that I hated myself for being so week.

"Well that's up to you and Bella isn't it? Tell her the truth the whole truth no matter how much it hurts."

"And what if she hates me?" I looked Emmett in the eye for the first time in our whole discussion. His rich amber colored eyes bore into y own emerald ones.

"Then that is her right and her decision. But I don't think she will hate you."

"Why not?" I needed to know.

"Because no matter what you did in the past, you saved her from James and she still loves you. I saw it in her eyes when she would look at you while you guys were working on that stupid biology project that I failed my senior year." He smirked, remembering, then turned back to face me as serious as ever.

"What if I'm not good enough for her?" I needed to know his opinion of this. I knew he would be honest.

"It seems like you are at a crossroads. You can try to make things right with Bella and hopefully it will all end up alright although there are no guaranties. Or you can lave this hospital tonight and never come back and never see her again, hoping that this is what is best for Bella and for you."

"And what road should I take?"

"Well that's up to you isn't it. I'm just your stupid collage drop out brother." He turned to go but I stopped him.

"For being a stupid collage drop out you sure know a lot of things." He grinned weakly at me.

"Ya I guess I do." He left me then to think.

He was right. I had two choices and I didn't have much time to decide. The doctors hadn't said when Bella would wake up. It could be any minute now. The thought of not being here when Bella woke up hurt me even moe then the thought of staying but still, I wasn't any good for her. And how could she ever trust me with her heart anymore? She had given me her whole heart and I had broken it. Would she risk getting hurt again? Could she survive that?

"Edward?" I weak voice startled me and I turned around. Her large doe eyes were staring straight into mine.

I hadn't decided what to do yet! I glanced at the door and then to Bella and then back at the door…

**Oooooh cliffy! Ha ha I bet you hate me but I don't even know what to do yet. Maybe Bella will drop dead ha ha you guys would hate me. So anyway please please please review. Pretty please with a chocolate covered Edward on top!**


	18. Chapter 18: The Explanation

**So sorry I was at field hockey camp this week and I was so tired when I got back but it's over now so here is your story**

**Disclaimer: You know the drill… **

BPOV

It was all dark and fuzzy. All I could see was darkness, but I could hear the beeping of hospital machines. I had been in hospitals enough to know what they sounded like. I took a deep painful breath of air. Yes this was defiantly a hospital. It smelled sickly sterile. As if air fresheners and immaculately clean bed sheets could disguise the smell of death that lingered on every surface of the room.

Then in a wave of emotions everything came back to me. Edward's house, James, the pain, Edward's eyes, darkness. Just as all the memories came rushing back into my head I heard two familiar voices.

"What if I'm not good enough for her?" I knew that voice but I hated hearing it in such pain. But why would it's owner be here?

"It seems like you are at a crossroads. You can try to make things right with Bella and hopefully it will all end up all right although there are no guaranties. Or you can lave this hospital tonight and never come back and never see her again, hoping that this is what is best for Bella and for you." I knew this voice as well. It was Emmett. I struggled over what he said. My drug filled brain couldn't handle so much information at one time but I think I got the point of it. He was saying Edward had two choices, he could stay with me, or he could leave. I wanted to scream at Edward not to leave me but then it struck me, why would Edward want to stay with me? He hated me!

Edward and Emmett continued to talk but I wasn't listening anymore. I was still thinking over what Emmett had said. If Edward was asking if he should stay with me then didn't that mean he still cared about me? No! I thought fiercely to myself. I couldn't let myself think he still wanted me. I couldn't let myself hope just to be disappointed later. I heard the door shut and I struggled to open my eyes.

"Edward?" I said seeing him sitting right next to me. He looked startled as his bright green eyes met my own brown ones. He looked at the door and then at me and then back to the door. I held my breath praying that he would turn back to me. I couldn't deal with him leaving me so soon. I wouldn't survive him going again.

"Edward?" I said again. And slowly, ever so slowly he turned back to me, his eyes filled with tears of guilt and sorrow, as he looked me in the eye once again.

"Bella." He said my name slowly, like it was delicate and needed to be spoken with great care.

"Edward don't leave me." I whispered.

"Bella I need to talk to you." I could live with that. It meant he would be with me longer. He made me feel better. When he was with me I couldn't feel all the pain that James left me with. James! Where was he? What had happened after I blanked out.

"Yes you can talk to me." I said as Edward was stating to get nervous by my silence.

"Ok." He sighed. "I need to tell you the truth. The whole truth." I nodded and he seemed to be mentally preparing himself for something.

"I knew James from before." I started to say something but he cut me off.

"Don't say anything, just let me finish. James was my drug dealer. Tanya introduced me to him and I've been working for him ever since. I broke up with you to try and protect you. I've seen him kill people Bella! I didn't want you to be one of them."

Tears were pouring down my face now. Cascading down my cheeks and onto the thin white hospital blanket.

"Bella, please forgive me. I didn't know he was coming to our school. I'm so sorry Bella!" I tried to talk but no words came out. He was sitting there waiting, like a dog about to be kicked, and I didn't want to be the one that had to kick him.

"Edward." I managed to get out. His eyes with filled to the brim with tears as he looked up at me. "I know you thought you were doing the right thing by breaking up with me, but you still hurt me and I wish you had told me what was going on."

"I know I wish I had too Bella."

"I know you are sorry but how can I trust you anymore? How will I know you will never leave me?"

"I won't Bella. I will never leave you."

"You said that last time." I glared at him and he looked taken aback.

"I saved you from James." He whispered.

"Yes you did and I will forever be grateful that you did, but that doesn't mean you are instantly forgiven. What did you think was going to happen? I would immediately jump onto your lap and we would run off together into the sunset."

"Bells-" he started but I cut him off.

"Don't you Bells me! I've never been like other girls! I loved you for you and not your body. I loved the way you would look at me like I was the only girl in the world. But when you dumped me I lost everything. I missed having someone care about me. I felt like I was all alone. It felt like you had taken part of my soul with me when you left. James made me feel whole again. He made me feel special again. But then he hit me and he was just like you. Taking my heart and breaking it."

'I would never hit you Bella" he said softly.

"How am I supposed to trust anyone anymore when everyone I've ever loved has ended up hurting me?"

"Please Bella, give me one more chance!"

I looked into his deep green eyes and I wanted so badly to say yes to him. I had what I wanted, the reason he left, but it had come to late. When you love someone you let them into your heart. You open up all of your walls to them until they know everything about you. But when he left me in the pouring rain that day, something broke inside me. What are you supposed to do when everything you've been hiding inside you is taken from you? What are you supposed to do when you have nothing left to give? And what are you supposed to do when everything is taken away again? How can you ever forgive?

I looked over at him and wished that I could say something else, anything else, because I still cared about him and couldn't stand him being hurt. Because no matter what he had taken from me, he had also given a little in return.

"I'm sorry Edward, it's too late."

**Wow I'm depressed now, I think I'll have some pizza, that makes people happy : ) Anyhoo I hope you like the story and PLEASE REVIEW OR NO MORE CHAPTERS FOR YOU!**


	19. Chapter 19: The Needle and the Shots

**Ok people (people is such a funny word haha people sorry:p) so im going back to school tomorrow so I can only update on weekends that I don't have atest to study for. So sad. But anyway see you at the bottom of the page.**

**Disclaimer: the one and only Stephanie Meyer**

EPOV

"I'm sorry Edward, it's too late."

I couldn't believe it. My world was crashing down around me. I couldn't breath. I looked at Bella and saw my face reflected in her enormous brown eyes. My face was twisted in pain and my green eyes looked like they were on fire.

"Edward" Bella whispered.

"Don't, just don't." I couldn't stand to look at her anymore. I flew out of the room, out of the hospital, anywhere but in the room with her, my Bella.

I ran down the familiar alleyways and dark streets, until I suddenly stopped at the brick wall of an abandoned factory. I leaned against the rough reddish-brown rock and and just stayed there.

So this is what it felt like to hand your heart to someone and then have it dropped unceremoniously on the floor. I now new what Bella went through when I dumped her. I groaned and rummaged around behind a rusting dumpster and looked for the box I knew was there.

"Looking for something?"

My head shot up, I knew that voice. I got up and turned around slowly. Sure enough, there was James a gun pointing straight at my heart.

"Miss me?" he smirked.

BPOV

I stared at the spot where he vanished. What had I been thinking? I knew he wouldn't try to win me back, he would just run after some new girl.

_He changed he changed he changed _my heart monitor seemed to chant over and over again. My heart would speed up and so would the chanting. My heart would slow down, so would the message the stupid machine was trying to convey to me.

"SHUT UP, JUST SHUT UP" I roared and instantly nurses and doctors poured into the room holding me down. One doctor in a white lab coat pulled out a syringe filled with a clear liquid. I thought about Edward and the drugs and I pulled away from the needle.

"NO! I DON'T WANT IT GET IT AWAY FROM ME." I felt surrounded by people my head was spinning. I was going to barf. All the people around me, looking at me. It was all too white the walls, the sheets, everything. There was too much movement. And then I felt the cool sharp tip of the syringe enter my vain and it all went slowly and quietly into dreamland. The last thing I remember before falling into my drug induced sleep was a nurse yelling to a doctor.

"He's coding on the elevator, hurry up!" By that point I was too much under the influence of the drugs to care much about what that meant.

EPOV

I stood there shocked.

"How did you escape the police?"

"In all the confusion it was almost too easy to run away." He chuckled.

"So what now?"

"Hmmmm, what now indeed. I can't let you die, I don't want to get arrested for that too. However I can't let you skip on home to your fairy princess or whatever the hell her name is. I think it started with a B. Was it Bella?"

"You will never go near Bella again, ever." I said my voice deathly quiet.

"Now who is the one with the gun here my dear Eddy," I stood there frozen. I had to get out of here alive so I could warn Bella that James had escaped. I slipped my hand into my pocket and pressed speed dial number 2 praying that he wouldn't talk.

"Get your hand out of your pocket!" James snarled.

"What I don't have a gun you wouldn't let me have one." I needed to waste time so he could get here.

"Good thing I didn't or I 'd probably be dead. The thing that you forgot though my dear Eddy, is that I'm smart. I'm smarter then all of you, I've been in the game longer than anyone and the only reason why I'm still around is because I've outsmarted and outwitted everyone else around me. I've won again Eddy. I've beat you."

"So I'm gonna die next to an abandoned factory on Hoover St.?" I knew he was listening, he just needed to know where I am.

"Don't think I don't know what you are doing. I've known all along."

"What do you mean?" I said desperately. James had moved around and had backed me up against the brick wall. I was playing for time and he knew it.

"Oh I don't know. Who do you have on speed dial, because whoever it is going to hear you die." I was panicking now. What if he didn't make it in time?

James turned to me and shot my right leg. I doubled up in pain. I heard more shots, and I felt more sickening pain. I heard my phone screaming my name until James shot that too. I couldn't take it anymore. I was going to die here. On this cold dark drug covered street and nobody would ever find my body.

Just as I had given up all hope I heard his voice. Emmett. I heard him shout and I heard his footsteps and I heard a shot and a leap and the sickening crack of bones.

"You're going to pay!" It was Emmetts voice I heard last. Saying that over and over again. _You're going to pay…_

BPOV

I was in the meadow again. It was late spring and the flowers were in full bloom. I ran over to the small stream and dangled my feet in the cold water. I looked around and saw that I was all alone. I sighed and looked back into the water and gasped. Edward was standing behind me. Looking at our watery reflections.

"How did you get here?" Last time I had seen him he had been running away from me.

"I was going to ask you the same thing."

"Are we both really here then or am I just dreaming you up?"

"I'm here, does that mean you're really here too?"

"Wait wouldn't you just say you were here even if I was dreaming?" I was so confused. This was such a weird dream.

EPOV

This was such a weird dream. Did this mean that Bella was really here and could hear everything I was saying?

"What is the last thing you remember happening to you?" I wondered.

"They gave me a drug to fall asleep" she paused looking awkward.

"I just remember getting shot by James and Emmett coming." I kicked a clump of dirt and a flurry of butterflies shot up. We watched them go until they were only small black specs in an endless sky.

"So are we dead?" The question startled me. I hadn't thought of that, and Bella couldn't be dead, she just couldn't.

"I don't think we are dead. I mean I might be but you can't be, they only gave you a drug to sleep."

"I don't want to live without you! I don't want to wake up and have you be dead. I don't want to be all alone again!" She ran up to me, tears streaming down her face. She buried her face into my chest and sobbed. I wrapped my arms around her small frame and murmured soothing words into her hair. It was just like coming home. She felt so small and fragile but as I held her I couldn't think of anything but the fact that se was with me, after all we've been through, that she still wanted me.

"I don't want you to be dead." She whispered again, her voice muffled by my shirt.

"I really hope so too."

**Yea love and happiness unless they are both dead hahaha I'm so evil. What do you guys think? Is the story still good? There wont be many more chapters so ya I hope you like it. Tell your friends lol. So anyway please review and tell me what you think. REVIEW!!!!!!!!!! **


	20. Chapter 20: The Dreamland

**Wow ok sorry this took so long but my life has been so busy and I've been feeling crappy for a week now yea im finally happy cuz I went to a dance Friday night and it was amazing and so yea here's the next capter.**

**Disclaimer: sigh it's all Stephanie Meyer's what would we do without her**

"_I don't want to live without you! I don't want to wake up and have you be dead. I don't want to be all alone again!" She ran up to me, tears streaming down her face. She buried her face into my chest and sobbed. I wrapped my arms around her small frame and murmured soothing words into her hair. It was just like coming home. She felt so small and fragile but as I held her I couldn't think of anything but the fact that se was with me, after all we've been through, that she still wanted me._

"_I don't want you to be dead." She whispered again, her voice muffled by my shirt._

EPOV

We sat in that meadow for a long time. We were afraid to dangle our feet in the water in case it would wake us up from this extra ordinary dream we were in. Instead we sat by the edge of the water and talked. It was amazing being able to talk to my Bella again after all we had been through together. We talked about how sad Bella was when I left her, and how distressed I was after I drove away from her that day. We both cried when she told me about how James had hit her and I had to stop myself from punching the ground in frustration at not being there to save her. When the sky around us began to darken we got worried.

"What if I wake up and your dead?" Bella whispered. Her head was lying in my lap and I was gently stroking her hair.

"I don't know." A tear escaped her eyes and slowly rolled down her cheek. Not being able to bear watching it slowly fall down her beautiful face, I quickly stopped it's progression with the tip of my thumb.

"Edward…?" Bella wisped, suddenly fearful.

"What Bella?" I hated seeing her afraid.

"What if…What if I died and you're still alive?" I was shaking my head before she even finished her sentence. You can't be dead Bella, you just can't be. Don't think like like that Bella." I was almost shouting by the time I was finished. Bella was cowering against my lap.

"Bella, I'm so sorry it's just…I couldn't live with myself if you died, I wouldn't be able to bear it."

"And you don't think I would feel the same way?" She glowered up at me.

"I guess you're right," I admitted.

"So what do we do now?" She asked. The sky was almost pitch black by this point and I could barely see her face, but I knew she was there. I could feel the warmth of her body radiating off of her and I just wished this moment would never end, that we could live in this fairy tale world forever. I knew that this wasn't real, that we would have to go back at some point, but I just didn't want to think about that with Bella so close and warm and safe.

BPOV

I suppose all good things must come to an end at some point. The summer turns to cold Winter, the sun fades into the black night, and comeback only to leave you once again. The thing with nature is that the Summer always returns and the sun always comes back in the morning. But you never know what people will do. People are too afraid to show their feelings, too afraid to show any weakness. That's what I like about babies, they can't defend themselves so they rely absolutely on the people who care for them. The automatic trust they have is amazing and as we grow older we become less and less trusting. We hide behind layers of ourselves and build walls that nobody can penetrate. You can only hope that one day you find someone who can set you free and open all of your defenses, because only when you are stripped down to your last layer of being, can you fully trust again.

I woke with a start and saw the white hospital room around me. I felt the pain all over my body again and new that the good had ended and the bad must begin.

EPOV

Love is a very weird force. You can't really describe it to anyone. You love your parents and your family but when you love the one you are meant to with it's hard to describe. Rationally, it is impossible for one person to fill every one of your needs or desires. But when you meet that person you don't feel like you're missing anything. In fact it's more like a part of you that you didn't even know you were missing came back and attached itself back onto you. In that case it wouldn't make sense for that person to be exactly like you. It would make more sense to attracted to your opposite. It's like in all the movies where the popular guy falls in love with the geeky girl. Of coarse in the geeky girl turns out to be beautiful once she takes her glasses off . But true love isn't like that, you don't need to change something about yourself if that's what brought you to that person in the first place. As I said: Love is weird.

I woke with a start and looked around, expecting to be back in that ally way with James and Emmett. The pain slowly came back to me and I groaned in pain.

"Edward?" It was Emmett.

"Are you ok?" I rasped, my throat was dry. "Where is James?"

"I'm ok! You think a little bitch like James can take me down?" Emmett handed me a glass of water. "And James is in a jail cell awaiting trial right now."

I sighed. Everyone was ok. Wait a second! I forgot about on person…

"Emmett?"

"Yea little bro?"

"Is Bella ok?"

Emmett's grin slowly melted off his face, replaced by a look of sadness.

"Emmett?" I asked when he didn't answer, panic was building up inside my chest.

"Edward, you're not going to like this-"

**HAHA Another cliffy what do you guys think will happen. I love your reviews so so so much so please please please review or I might not post for a long time again.**

**REVIEW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!**


	21. Chapter 21: The oops Back Again

**Ok I'm back again! I had an aweful week so im sorry that I didn't update earlier. Just thinking about it makes me want to curl up in a ball on my bed, but I'm writing this instead so be grateful.**

**Disclaimer: Whoop-de-damn-do I don't own it**

EPOV

My world was falling apart. What had happened to Bella? We had decided that she wasn't dead! I was the one who should have died? What the hell happened? I had just seen her a few minutes ago. What was the point of all we had suffered through if she was dead. My shoulders started heaving with sobs.

"What happened Emmett?" I needed to know. If it was some stupid hospital mistake that killed her I would hunt down that person and slit their throat.

"Um she was like flipping out so they injected her with a sedative but they messed up and gave her too much and she's in a drug induced comma. It's not looking good little bro."

"But, she-she's not dead?" This information had a hard time passing through my head. I kept thinking it was all just some sick joke and she really was dead.

"No she's not dead yet, but don't get your hopes up for her recovering." With this Emmett got up and left the hard wooden chair that had been placed by my bedside for visitors. It looked exactly like the one in Bella's room. I couldn't take this shit anymore. I just got Bella back only to loose her again due to some stupid doctors. The only thing that kept my burdened heart beating was the fact that the she was not yet dead, although that also made it worse. The hope was only going to make it worse when she died. It would just be easier if Bella was dead so I could kill myself and get it over with. Why did this happen to us? Well it has to happen to someone, I thought bitterly. You always think that the terrible things happen to the other people but I suppose your always the other person to someone else.

"Edward?" Alice was sitting next to me.

"I don't want to talk to you."

"I don't care. I'm going to talk to you."

"I'll scream out for the nurses." I weekly threatened.

"No you wont." Alice always had a knack for guessing the future. I sighed in defeat.

"What do you want Alice?"

"You know the story Romeo and Juliet right?" Alice asked me. I couldn't see were she was going with this.

"Yea." I answered truthfully.

"Well what do you think about it?" She was really starting to piss me off. What the hell was she talking about?

"I think that everyone dies in the end and that true love can't do shit to stop real life from messing up everything."

"But not everyone dies, the Capulet and Montagues resolve their feud and they live on knowing that they messed up and Romeo and Juliet paid with their lives."

"Yea like what I said."

"No Edward," Alice sounded pissed. "You said they _all_ died and they didn't. Romeo and Juliet died. They both died because of stupid mistakes, but the story could easily have gone a different way. The messenger could have gotten to Romeo in time, the apothecary could have not given Romeo the poison, and I don't even know what else."

"So what's your point Alice?"

"My point is Edward that even though mistakes were made it all could have worked out in the end, and even though it didn't work out for Romeo and Juliet, they weren't the only people in the story. There were the every day people who could have been killed by one more street fight between the two families. You have to look at the bigger picture. Well I have to go." And with that she left.

Then finally as the door slammed shut behind her, I finally got what Alice was trying to tell me. Even though so many things have gone wrong with me and Bella, it could still work out in the end, even if it was not in the way that most convenient or expected. It didn't really help the pain that was still pumping in my heart but it did help me feel more optimistic about the future.

Around 10:00pm my wounds began to ache and I called for a nurse. She injected a drug into my IV drip and slowly my eye lids began to droop and my brain felt fuzzy. As I drifted off to sleep I thought about Bella and how to convince the doctors to let me see her tomorrow.

BPOV

I was back in our meadow, only this time I was all alone. I just remember waking up in the hospital. I was in pain so I called for a nurse. She injected something into my IV drip and then left.

I shuddered as a cold breeze blew over me. I walked over to the small pond and stared into its dark water. I saw my reflection staring back at me. It's funny how when you stare at something for a long time, it gets blurry and seems farther away until you blink your eyes and everything slides back into place. I did this for a few minutes until I blinked once more to find someone else's reflection next to mine.

"Are you real this time?"

"I think so, are you?" I replied. The beautiful man beside me draped his arm around me as another gust of wind made us both shiver.

"I think we're dead."

"Why?" I should have been scared. I should have had questions. I should have been crying. But by this point I was just so sick and tired that I just didn't care anymore. I was so tired of the pain and the worry and the fear and the overwhelming feeling that nothing was real anymore that I just couldn't take it anymore. I could only deal with one thing at a time and right now I was with Edward in some subconscious nightmare and we very well might be dead.

"Well you were in some stupid drug induced coma that you weren't going to come out of because some nurse fucked up and then she injected something into my IV and now we're both here." I sighed.

"I don't mind."

"Why?" I looked up at his face and he looked angry.

"Because I don't want to deal with anymore shit." Edward started to say something but I interrupted. "No listen to me! Remember when my biggest problem was that you were a player? Doesn't high school seem so far away? Don't we seem so far away? I've been abused by my boyfriend. Doesn't that usually take moths to recover from? You've slept with most of the girls in our grade. Do you even remember their names? Nothing makes sense anymore. We might be dead and yet we're sitting here talking to each other. We might be dead Edward! But all I can think about is how this is just something else I have to get past. It feels like my mind is still back when we were dating and I'm scared because I know it has to catch up to me eventually and the longer it takes the more painful it's going to be. And sometimes I just feel like my life stopped that day in the rain and I can still feel the rain and my tears and I don't want to feel them anymore. I just don't want to feel."

"Bella?"

"Don't, just don't."

"Bella?"

"What?" I turned around to face him and he was looking at something just past my right shoulder. I turned around. There standing before us was-

**ok ok im a horrible person I didn't update but PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE review**


	22. Chapter 22: The Search

**Ok so sorry I haven't updated in awhile an so yea I've never had a story plan for this so I didn't even know it was gonna go here and thank you so much for sticking with me because I know the story is just getting worse and worse so thank you so so so much.**

**Disclaimer: Do I own it today? No……**

"_What?" I turned around to face him and he was looking at something just past my right shoulder. I turned around. There standing before us was-_

BPOV

I couldn't believe what I was seeing. It was just so…unexpected. Leaning against a tree and staring at us with a mildly amused expression was Emmett's girlfriend Rosalie.

"What are you doing here?" Edward managed to blurt out.

"Well what are you doing here?" Her crystal clear voice rang like bells and I wondered for a second if she really was an angel.

"We just showed up here. Aren't we dead?" I said. Was Rosalie dead too?

"Well I don't think your dead yet." She giggled and the sound echoed off the trees and made it feel like the entire clearing was surrounded by her laughter.

"How would you know?" I said nervously. I didn't know why but she was starting to make me nervous, and I think she could tell.

"I never really did like you Bella, you've always been annoying." Rosalie giggled again, this time more loudly. Edward moved so that he was in front of me, he didn't trust her either.

"How do you know we aren't dead?" Edward asked carefully.

"Well if you were dead you wouldn't be here." I was so confused. What the hell was she talking about.

"You see those clouds up there," she pointed to a clump of golden-silver clouds directly above us. "That's were you go when you die, unless of coarse you've been bad." She grinned and her smile was blindingly beautiful yet terribly evil at the same time. I shivered.

"Oh don't be afraid Bella," she jeered at me. "I'm sure you'll be fine."

"You're Emmett's girlfriend." Edward said. I looked up at his face and saw that he looked just as confused as me.

"Well I was his girlfriend. Haven't you ever wondered why I'm so excruciatingly beautiful? Haven't you ever wondered why I settled for Emmett when I could have had any guy on Earth? Well you see, I don't really belong down there. I made a mistake and the boss was punishing me. Of coarse I never realized what a long time I'd have to wait and your little fights and breakup have been quite entertaining, but still I want to go home and I have a mission to accomplish." She took a step towards us. Edward instinctively stood in front of me.

"Fine we can do this the hard way. You can't leave here. You're both in comas and only one of you can go back. I don't really care but the boss would rather have Bella. But I don't really care anymore so I'll let you two chose who goes where. Have fun." With that she stepped back and a pair of heavy black wings sprouted out of her back. They must have been at least a 12 foot wing span. She was about to take off flying but Edward stopped her with a question.

"Who do you work for?"

"Well isn't it obvious honey? No I suppose not. Well it's not for the guy that lives up there." She pointed to the golden clouds again and took off with a rush of wings and golden hair.

EPOV

It must have been hours we sat there but it was hard to tell time in a place like that. It could have been days or it could have been seconds. I looked over at Bella who looked a little shell shocked.

"Bella?" she looked at me but her eyes looked hollow.

"Your brother's girlfriend works for the devil." And then she started laughing. Insane, hysterical laughter that scared me.

"Bella!" I yelled but she couldn't stop. She was laughing and crying and I had no idea what to do.

Finally after a few minutes she quieted down.

"You know we would have the best FML's ever."

"I'll think about that once we get out of here," I grinned half-heartedly at her.

"I have an idea." She jumped up suddenly.

"What?" I said a little worried.

"We have to get out of our comas before she comes back."

"How the hell are we going to do that?"

"I don't know, but that's how we're stuck in here so it should be how we can get out."

"So what exactly should we do? "

"We have to search the clearing the answer is in here somewhere." I sighed and got up to help.

After a few hours of searching Bella spoke up.

"We need to have a back up plan in case she comes back and we haven't found anything."

"Well of coarse you get to go back," I didn't even realize that there was a choice here. I couldn't let Bella go off with some devil's assistant while I got to live on with my family knowing that I could have saved her.

"I can't loose you again." She whispered.

"I can't either," I admitted.

"So what do we do?"

"We keep looking for a way out of here."

It was late at night when we began to loose hope. The sun had sunk past the trees and it was too dark to search. We were headed back to the pond when we saw the glowing.

"Edward!" Bella shouted gleefully as we ran over to the golden light emanating from the pond. As soon as she spoke my name, my face appeared in the pond. We looked at the watery me in shock.

"I wonder…" Bella said as she approached the pond again.

"Emmett" She said. And there was Emmett sleeping next to my bed in the hospital.

"Lets jump in." I just looked at her. Noticing my expression she replied "what do we have to loose, besides I have a hunch."

"Fine," I agreed, only because she was right, what did we have to loose?

She grabbed my hand and together we jumped into the golden water covered us and sent us tumbling through time and space.

**Ok ok I know it sux and I have no excuses but could you please review. I don't know it I want them both to die or both to live yet. ****Please please please review**


	23. Sorry Guys

Hey guys I think I might stop writing this fan fic. I don't really like where it's going and i've been really busy in school, and also I 'm just going through a rough patch in my life now that I don't want to go into detail about, so yea. I might write more later and I'll probably write something new next summer but I just want to say thank you so much for all of your wonderful support and for giving me the confidence in myself to write more then the first chapter.. You have no idea how much I appreciate it. So thank you again and Happy Holidays.


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